i'm feeling all of it,
every atom of every emotion ever,
they're suffocating me,
i can feel their finger prints
stick to my neck while they
choke me.
and then it stops.
the world is no longer going the speed of the rollercoaster my stomach was on,
in fact it's all still,
including my me.
i begin to hear my heart beat,
then buzz again.
my fingers are shaking,
and suddenly there's a bald patch on my head,
scars on my ankles and wrist,
and i've had three hundred calories in the past two days.
and then the numbness replaces
my soul again,
there's more cuts because i crave to feel,
and i pray my period will come soon because i miss pain
in my abdomen.
making out with girls,
cutting,
ripping out my hair,
and not eating,
won't help.
but that doesn't stop me
from try to calm
the extremes.
YOU ARE READING
lavender curses
Poetrythis is my poetry. not all of these poems are god, some of them were just what i was feeling. ❗T W❗self harm and eating disorders
