Fool Me Twice, Shame On Me ✓

[ 5 ] This is going to be a long senior year

➴   ➵    ➴    ➵     ➴   ➵

•  C H A P T E R F I V E •

numb

Adjective

1. unable to feel anything in a particular part of your body because of cold, injury, etc.

2. deprived of sensation, as by anesthesia

3. unable to think, feel, or react normally because of something that shocks or upsets you

I definitely prefer the third definition. I mean it is so appropriate for the current situation. I'm really unable to think, feel or react normally because of something that has just shocked and upset me.

After leaving the janitor's closet, it almost took me a lifetime to stop bawling my eyes out. Luckily, no Roosevelt students were around to witness my brief emotional breakdown. I sure do hope to God that Dean out of all people, didn't see me cry - the last thing I need right now is for him to think that he touched a nerve. It seems like no matter what I do, I always end up being weak and vulnerable around him.

Why does he have to assume that I was jealous?

He can be so infuriating when he wants to be. What part of me not giving two flying fucks about him does he not seem to get? I hate him so much. I wish that I could just delete him from my life.

No you can't. . .No matter how badly it pains you to admit it, thoughts of him will always consume you.

Sadly, I can't help but agree with my subconscious. Dean's been someone that I've always loathed from the get-go but, a part of me can't seem to erase him from my thoughts permanently. No matter how hard I try to forget him, he always seems to find his way back into my life.

"Emery have you lost the ability to move your freaking legs?" Just when this day couldn't get any worse.

"What?" I ask quizzically as all my attention focuses solely on a very annoyed looking Stacey who's standing in front of me. It takes my brain about thirty seconds to realize that I am blocking the path that leads to her locker.

Note her glower.

I step aside - more like hop aside to give way. "Um... Sorry didn't see you ther-"

"I didn't ask for an apology so you can save the energy!" Stacey interrupts me with an expressionless tone.

My lips thin. "Thank God... I barely recognized myself there for a second."

Her facial expression quickly switches from expressionless to furious. "Good to know... May I ask what you're still doing here then?" I can definitely sense the sarcasm in her voice. I hate to admit it but she's right.

What the hell am I still doing here?

"Gee. . .you're right, I am so leaving." I declare vividly before preparing to walk away from this hell hole however; her next words prevent me from daring to take another step.

"That's all I've ever wanted you to do." I am taking aback by her statement. She isn't insulting me but why do I get the feeling that she's not just talking about me leaving her locker?

One thing's for sure, her words speak a double meaning.

Now I could choose to walk away from this or start an argument.

I definitely choose the latter.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I snap, my eyes boring holes through her skull.