Suicidal thoughts ||Editing||

The clock sings.

Time ridicule's me,
Why is time a riddle?
I wish for time move quickly,
I wish for my end to come.
But yet the clock ticks,
The clock screams,
A new day begins.
All because the clock ticks.
I curse the clock, I curse time.
Grant me my wish
And thou shall be free.
Make my clock sing
So time would move faster. HL

I clocked seventeen yesterday, Maryann came to celebrate with me in the dark confinement of my room. I chose not to leave.

She bought me a clock, she said its all she's got, My parents forgot.

Sometimes I wonder if they really ever wanted me, to forget the day I was born?.

Mom told me when I was little, having me was a mistake. Dad called me a bastard. They both told me they loved me. I don't believe in irony.

The clock annoys me, I hate the way it ticks, but it never tocks, instead it talks.
It tells me I will never see the end, my greatest fear.

All I wanted was death, but that stupid clock ridiculed me. But lately it became my companion. I would listen to its ticks and then I would tock.
It had a little bird that sang in the morning, I hated that bird. It had a smile on its face. Something I lost along with my flower.

I became envious of it. I broke it off last night, I set it aflame. Maryann called me insane, she said I needed help. I cried that night because I knew I needed help too.

The bird was gone and now the clock just gonged.
It sang all day, at random times. The singing annoyed me. I stopped tocking, I locked the clock away.

It's singing kept me awake. It brought me closer to reality. The ticking drowned me. I was going insane. I wished time would stop.

Maryanne saw me under my bed this morning, she asked me why I slept down there.
I said nothing to her. I walked to my clock and threw it outside. Maryann scolded me that night. She cried for so long. I had destroyed all she had.

I felt like a monster. I blamed time. I wished for my end to come faster. I would battle time in the great beyond.

And just like that, my clock was gone but at times I ticked and tocked in memory of my singing companion, a friend of time.

~~~~~~~~~~
The above poem does not belong to me, it belongs to my friend who passed away.
Her clock sang.

YoU aRe NOt ALOne

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