Suicidal thoughts ||Editing||

Fat and ugly.

They shoved me away
They cast me abay
Too ugly they said
They all ran away
A monster they screamed
They told me I'm fat
A balloon at that
I sat and I thought
What if I fought
They never brought it to thought
The fat girl could throw a punch
If I were to fight back
They'll end up a carcass. HL

I had always hated mirrors, i wasn't brave enough to face how I looked. The children called me fat and ugly. I knew what that meant. I detested Mirrors, I was contented with my inner self.
I never had a mirror, I simply refused to. Maryanne bought me a mirror today. She fixed up my hair, she called me pretty.

I looked in my mirror. I broke it, she simply walked away. That night I dreamt of myself. I never knew how I looked like, I never wanted to remember.

And now Maryanne, she did the impossible.

I went to school that day, I begged Maryanne to do my makeup, I didn't want the children to see how ugly I was.

I was disgusted with my appearance, she did this to me, she had to fix it.

She dressed me up like a princess, she made me her doll, she took me some pictures and asked if I wanted to see them. I refused.

I walked into school confidently, the children, they'll  all love me, I'll finally have friends my age, I look as beautiful as the rest of them now.

I was wrong.

Those nasty mean girls, they threw a bucket of water in my face, they called me a clown. Fat and ugly, they chanted.

The voices told me I had to hurt them, they begged me to hurt them. They kept screaming, they kept laughing, they kept chanting.

They brought out a mirror, they showed me my reflection. I broke down, I shoved her with all my might and sat on her face.

None of the children could push me and when they did, she was almost near death.

I smiled, I cried and I smiled. I was a monster, how? Why did I do it?

The whole school, they ganged up on me, they almost beat me to  death, they threw stones at me.

I was expelled.

Thanks for reading.
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