The Light of Luna

Chapter 9: The Story (Luna's POV)

"Noona, start your story." Tae pleaded. I guess this couldn't be helped. I took a deep breath.

"Remember when I was in high school?" I asked. "Yes~! You were always at the hospital cause of your weak body." Tae exposed. Argh~! Why so talkative Taehyung-ah?! You can just say yes, I remember.

"I usually have palpitations and fainting spells. One day, I fainted at school and was rushed to the school clinic. The nurse at the clinic said that my neck is larger than the normal size and I should have it checked, so mom and I went to a specialist which is a Pedia Endocrinologist." I stated. "Oh, I remembered that! Yoongi-hyung's mum was the one who checked you, right?" Tae mentioned as Jin went back to his seat.

"Thank you, Jin." I uttered sincerely. I checked on Yoongi and there he was looking gloomy. "You okay Yoongi?" I asked, worried about what he truly feels. For sure he doesn't want to hear this again. He must have felt guilty about what happened. "I need fresh air." He walked out. All I could do was to stare at his back as he walked towards the parking area. "I will accompany him." Namjoon declared. "Jin-hyung please look after Luna." He requested. "Okay." Jin sat beside me and put his jacket around my shoulders. Afterwards, Joonie ran after Yoongi.

There was a dead air and I was having trouble to lift it. "Please continue. We're listening." Jimin spoke softly. His eyes were soft and it seemed he wanted to understand the full story. I tried to smile but, slowly, the mask was falling off. "How old were you when you first went to hyung's mom?" Hobi inquired. "She was only 13 years old that time." Tae butted in. "And you're 27 years old now. So that means you've been taking the medicine for more than 14 years. Woah~!" I couldn't help but giggle a little with Hobi's sound effect though I hid it as a cough. "Please drink some water." JK handed me a cup of water and I was obliged to do so.

"I was under her care for 6 years. Every 6 months my blood was checked to adjust the medicine's dosage. Also, once a year I have the neck ultrasound to see if the nodules are getting big or if there were any mass." I held Tae's hand as I continued my story. "Every time I went to see her I mentioned about the things I feel like palpitations, rapid weight loss or not gaining weight at all, tremors and excessive sweating. She changed my medicine a couple of times too but still the same thing." I bit my lower lip to stop myself from crying. "Then one day, she just announced that the medicines aren't working for me and my weight wasn't improving so she couldn't do anything in my condition. The latest result seemed fine though she noticed 2 nodules looking a bit odd although she said it was fine as those were only fluids. Eventually, she asked me to stop taking the medicines." I took a deep breath. This is where it all started. I shook my head once.

"Noona, saranghae. But, please I need to know everything." Tae pleaded, yet again, as he held my hands. I nodded. "Luna, here have some water. You don't need to force yourself to tell everything." I could feel Jin's sincerity and love as a brother. It touched my soul. I held the cup and stared at the water and I saw my reflection. I saw how broken and devastated I was. Why don't you just give up and let go? The pain is unbearable and I've lost everything – my dream, my future and the person I love doesn't truly love me. No one will take away the pain and the fear. No one can save me from this darkness. Why should I continue to hold on and keep moving forward? I need at least one good reason.

"Luna." Hobi interrupted my reverie. When I lifted my head and saw their confounded reactions. Abruptly, Jin hugged me tightly. I could feel his tears cascading from his cheeks as he buried his face on my neck. "It's okay Noona. It's okay. Please don't cry. It breaks my heart when you cry." Tae kissed my temple and wiped away my tears. "I'm always here for you. Please stop crying."

"I'm okay." I managed to smile. JK handed me some tissue and I shared it with Jin. "I was just overwhelmed with emotions." I confessed. "You see when you try to recall things and thought that you made a wrong decision in your life. It kinda sucks but I know I can't turn back the time." With that, the mask finally fell off. "After many years without the medicine and blood tests, I continued my life living normally." I continued the story-telling. "However, when I had my pre-employment exam, the internal medicine doctor who checked me up said that the measurement of my neck is bigger than usual. Thus, I was advised to go to an Endocrinologist. That's when I met Dr. Cassandra."

"So it was years of not taking the medicine." Jimin commented. "But your previous doctor should at least monitor your blood every year knowing that you have that kind of condition." From Jimin's tone of voice, he was pissed and at the same time worried about me. "Yeah, that's why the nodules on my neck became more than 10." I laughed off. Failing to lift the mood which made me secretly pout. "After two years of monitoring with Dr. Cassandra, I opted to remove my thyroid gland since it was blocking the air passage and I had difficulty in eating." I stopped to take a few deep breaths. I easily get tired these days. "And the result of the biopsy is?" Hobi was impatient this time. "I have a microcarcinoma papillary and I took a radioactive iodine to prevent the cancer cells from returning. I guess from what Tae mentioned earlier the result was still the same. It's still above normal." I revealed to the newbies. I could feel my heart sinking. The possibility of having cancer which can spread to my other organs. What kind of life awaits me then?

"When you took the radioactive iodine, what will be the consequences?" Hobi probed.

"When a cancer patient drank the radioactive iodine, there could be short-term effects and long-term effects." Jin explained. Yes, this is Jin's forte, after all, he's a Radiation Oncologist. "The short-term effects are as follows: inflammation of the salivary glands. It's like swelling and in pain; second is dry mouth and change in your taste; third, would be swelling or tightness in the neck area and lastly is feeling sick." He continued. "While for the long-term effects: lower ability to conceive or have children; second is tiredness; third is dry or watery eyes; fourth is lower levels of blood cells and lastly lung problems – this only happens if the cancer cells spread out to the patient's lung. This is commonly called second cancer." He explained further. "Any questions?"

"Noona, which of those are you frequently experiencing?" Jimin suddenly brought up.

"I usually feel tired. I have dry eyes, and there is a tightness in my neck. Hmm... so far that's all."

"Is this the reason why you cannot love Yoongi-hyung?" JK unexpectedly mentioned one of the things I avoided answering. "Because you think it's a fake love. Because you think he was only 'loving' you because he felt responsible for what happened to you." He concluded.

"Yes, that's how we see it." Jin answered it for me. "Yoongi might be cold on the outside but he truly cares about his friends especially Luna since they grew up together. However, when he learned all about this stuff, things suddenly changed. He confronted his mom about what happened to Luna. He found out that his mom just gave up as she sees Luna's condition as a hopeless case. With that, he told his parents that he will marry Luna as soon as possible so he could look after her as they both shall live. However, when they went to Luna's house for the arranged marriage, Luna said she wasn't ready to get married. Yet their parents wanted to push through it and it made Luna sad." Jin confessed.

"Is that the reason you locked yourself in your room for a month?" Taehyung couldn't believe what he just heard. I couldn't respond and all I could do was lower my head. "That's why Yoongi decided to have an artificial girlfriend to hold the wedding." Jin continued.

I felt my phone vibrating. When I checked who the caller is, it was Lefelyn. I excused myself to answer the call but Jin said to answer it right then and there. He didn't want me to go elsewhere.

"Hello, Lefelyn." I greeted. "Noona, Joonie-hyung, and Yoongi-hyung are at the Emergency room right now. They had a car accident." I couldn't believe what I just heard. My heart sank into the deepest part of the ocean.

Why? I couldn't take this anymore. It's too much for me to carry.