Chapter 01

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Watching through my fingers.  Watching through my fingers.

You could say I'm nice.  You could say I'm mean.  You could say I'm an angel.  You could say I'm a devil.  But in all honesty, which ever side of me you meet is just a reflection of yourself.  I tend to do that - mimic people.

If you're mean to me or anyone else I'm mean to you.  If you're nice to me or anyone else I'll be nice to you until you prove me wrong.

Shut my eyes and count to ten.

That's just how I am.

It was the same way when I found out I got the part for the show Supergirl.  The part I got is a new heroine.  A girl from Kara's past before she was sent to earth.

It goes in one ear out the other.  One ear out the other.

It's not the part I'm worried about right now though.  It's the fact that I'll be back in touch with someone I met when I was sixteen.

It's not even the fact that I'll be back in touch with her.  It's more like the fact that I'm worried she'll remember me and hate me or that she won't remember me.

Burning bright right till the end.

I want her to remember me and be excited to be able to talk to me again.  But over ten years can do a lot to a person and their personality.

Even though she's famous, there is not possible way to know if she'd be happy about it.

Now you'll be missing from the photographs. Missing from the photographs.

We'll never know until we try though.  So that's what I'm doing, I'm showing up at set on my motorcycle after missing the table reads - with the producers permission of course - to start rehearsing.

The thing about my job is, I have to be nice to everyone.  Even the people that have gave me a full reason to be mean to them.  Mehcad Brooks being one of the cast members I have to be nice to.

Watching through my fingers.  Watching through my fingers.

I'll deal with it though.  It's not the first time I've had to be fake with the media.  Especially after I was forced to date Dylan Sprouse to get his publicity back up.  I have nothing against the guy, he's a great guy, just not my type.

Let me explain better, I'm not that into guys.  There's only been two guys that I've ever actually liked like that.

In my thoughts you're far away.

But back to my old friend.  She's the whole reason I figured out that I wasn't straight.  She had guys and girls drooling for her all through school and even now.

As I say, she could turn any gay guy straight and any straight girl gay.  It's just that way.  She's a gorgeous human and it's hard to believe she even is human.  She never left my thoughts when I had to leave.

And you are whistling the melody.  Whistling the melody.

I park my bike in a random parking spot near the set and get off of it slowing making sure not to scratch it with my boots.

"Who is that?" I hear Chyler Leigh say from behind me.

Crystallizing clear as day.

I walk past Chyler and Melissa, with my helmet still on, towards the main part of set towards the main director.

He notices me immediately and tells one of the assistants he has to lead me towards a dressing room trailer so I can get ready.

Oh, I can picture you so easily.  Picture you so easily.

The media hadn't caught wind of me being the new cast member so literally no one knew except the writers, producers and directors.

All the rest of the cast knew was that there's a new character.  This was another way to bring publicity to something.  Let's just say, I'm not Julie Gonzalo famous but I'm definitely not Beyonce famous.  I'm close to beyonce though, being the number two.

What's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it?  What's gonna be left of the world, oh.

As me and this assistant walked I started to wonder if any of the cast had figured out who I was yet since I still hadn't taken off my helmet.

We neared the trailer and I stopped mid walk.  There she was.  Nothing has changed.  She still looked the same as she did all those years ago.  This made me realize that my world crashed down when I left.

Every minute and every hour.

"Miss, come on.  We have to get you ready," the assistant said after realizing I wasn't walking anymore.

"That's Katie McGrath right?" I ask with my British accent coming out.  All she did was nod then Katie turned towards us and looked at me then walked over.

I miss you.  I miss you.  I miss you more.

"I heard my name and a familiar voice," Katie said as she walked over.

I couldn't stand there anymore so I bolted to the trailer that the assistant had walked to eariler before she realized I wasn't with her.  After getting inside I pulled my helmet off immediately and ran my fingers through my hair.  Before I knew it, I was crying.

Every stumble and each misfire.

I crouched down and put my face in my hands.  I couldn't hold it in anymore.

I heard the door opened but I didn't bother to look up.  "Alright, Miss (Y/L/N), they're wanting -. Miss (Y/L/N) are you alright?" They asked gently.

I miss you.  I miss you.  I miss you more.

I look up then and wipe the tears from my face.  "I'm fine.  I'll be okay.  Who was wanting what?" I ask trying to change the subject.

"They're wanting you on set one so you can be introduced to everyone," the girl said.  I nodded my head, got up, ran my fingers through my hair to smooth it out slightly, wiped my face free of the tears and followed the girl to set one.

xxxxxxx

A/N:  I was bored when I came up with this idea.  I uhhh I hope you like it?  I'm going to try to update as much as possible.  Tuesdays and late at night might be the only times I actually update though.  Enjoy this first chapter please and leave some comments for me.

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