I'm not gay

Sean

~Sean~

I made myself comfortable on the covers of my bed, scrambling for my phone when I heard the familiar ring that regularly sounded out at this time of the evening, showing it was in fact Mark calling. It was arranged between us two, when we were not in the same country we should call each other at least twice a day at particular times so we can stay in touch and kept up to date with one another.

We saw each other physically for a week every two months, we were not prepared to let distance chew up our relationship. I had returned to Brighton from LA nearly two weeks ago and I already missed him terribly. As shameful as it is, I was still exceptionally paranoid about losing him to someone else, I always had this terrible feeling that he'd realise he wasn't in love with me at all and would drop me for someone else.

I know I shouldn't be so nervous, as he always told me not to be, but I couldn't help myself. We still weren't quite public to the world about our involvement with one another, it was still a secret. Mark said he wanted to wait until we made solid arrangements before opening up. I suppose 'solid' meant we could see each other more than just a week every two months.

The topic of moving to live together seemed to pop up in conversation every phone call we had, it always turned into a mini argument about where we'd move to. Whether he should move with me, or whether I should move with him, or whether we should find another place completely and meet in the middle.

The thing was that I loved my home here in Brighton, it reminded me of home with the chilly feel and Mark loved California for the opposite reason. "Hey", I murmured into the speaker as I answered his call, sinking in my covers.

"Hey there", Mark yawned.

"Already that bored of talking to me?"

"You have no idea", Mark gruffly mumbled.

"Still at work or did you decide to go home early for a change?" My fingers picked at the ends of the covers, biting my lip. "Which would you prefer?"

"The truth?"

"I'm at work".

"Maaaaaark!" I whined at him, hearing a chuckle erupt from his end. He always worked late. He was a workaholic which was worrying. Even when I visited LA to see him, I had to pry him from that stupid office of his. "Seeeeeean".

"You're probably dying from exhaustion".

"The work needs to get done for the channel and last I checked, I own Markiplier".

"Don't be a smartass Mark".

"Me? Smart? Please Jack".

We spoke for about half an hour, his questions seemed fairly short like he was on a short fuse, it bothered me quite a bit. "Everything alright?"

"Hm? Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" He asked and I rolled over to lay on my back. "You sound irritated".

"I had a conversation with an old friend the other day", he started after a pause. "Mhm?"

"Well, he asked whether I had a girlfriend or not", I chuckled at that. "I said no, I actually have the opposite, he stared at me for a while before he leaned closer and whispered 'Mark... I didn't know you were a fag' and he stared at me with a serious look like I was a child who had kicked his fucking dog", Mark growled and my eyes very slowly opened as I stayed silent to listen.

"I told him I wasn't a fucking fag and he shook his head at me all sad and shit before saying, 'I meant I didn't know you were gay'".

"Lemme guess", I rolled my eyes. "You corrected him? You said 'oh I'm not gay, I'm bisexual'".

"Yeah, it's not a lie! Can I finish my story please?"

"Apologies, proceed".

"Thank you, I corrected him-" I snorted lowly,"-And he smiled at me while shaking his head before he said 'it must be a shame to be disabled'".

"Disabled?' I sat up with a frown.

"I said the same thing, he then said 'you know, being gay, what a shameful disability, you know, like every disability you can't control that you have it', don't be angry, in fact I don't think it would surprise you that I fucking punched him right off the seat", for some reason that made me laugh.

"No, that doesn't surprise me, Markiplier could never stand his pride being questioned!"

"I wasn't worried about my pride Sean... I'm not gay, I was angry because he was shaming you".

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I suppose when you're in love with someone the time between you being apart drags on like a sad tune. That's what it felt like as a month passed from the last time I saw Mark. I knew he was coming to Brighton in less than a month but I missed him. I kept my head down as I strolled along the sidewalk with music in my ears.

I wasn't familiar with that many people here in Brighton, I mean, I knew Felix and PJ but we weren't close. Felix was extremely busy as it is and I didn't have the patience to drive an hour to his house to see him for a short period of time, likewise for PJ. I mean, I was acquainted with a handful of people but not enough to consider them 'friends'.

I soon found myself colliding shoulders with a girl, her ice cream slipping from her fingers and splattering to the ground. I immediately pulled out my earphones and turned to her with an apologetic stare. "I am so sorry!" I was surprised by her appearance. She was shorter than I was, shoulder length brown hair and big blue eyes with fair skin. "Don't worry about it... I could just... I dunno, get another- I'm just like... Generally clumsy ya know?" She shrugged glumly and a crooked smile edged at my lips.

"Let me buy you another", I insisted despite her decline, dragging her towards the stall. "Please, let me buy you another, or I'll never forgive myself", she smiled and nodded.

"I'm Sean by the way, I'm commonly known as Jack though, so call me whichever you deem best", I smiled as we reached the stall.

"Signe, nice to meet you Jack", she nodded with a smile.

She was the most attractive woman I had ever seen...

That's a first.

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:)