Don't Tell Charlotte: A secret love story

Chapter 5

I got home and went straight to the bathroom. Washed my face and took my makeup off. I just stared at myself in the mirror. "Girl, what is wrong with you." I thought. " I mean, look at yourself. Guys like a natural girl. This is you. Charlotte is pretty even without makeup. Do you think Brandon would like this? I mean... you're alright. But like, not the best looking. Ugh what am I thinking. They'll never break up."

I leave and go to my bed. I look at my wall and notice I have a "PRETTYMUCH" poster on my wall. OH GOD. I immediately took it down, just incase Brandon were to ever come over. I wouldn't want him to think I'm like a crazed fan. I mean, he knows that fans do that, but I don't want him to look at me that way.

I lay down and just go on my phone. I look at Charlotte's instagram story. It's a boomerang of them together, kissing. I immediately get off my phone and just lay down in the dark. I am now turning this into a crush. I don't want that. But I just can't resist Brandon. He's too good.

I hear a knock at the door. Who could that possibly be at 10 o'clock at night? I get up and i peak through the hole. I can't see anyone. I slowly open the door and look around.... no one in sight. I look once more and then BOOM. Brandon appears from the stairs of my apartment building. My heart is beating fast. "Brandon? What are you doing here? How did you... get my address???"

"You told me, remember?"

"I did?" I asked in confusion. "I really don't remember."

"Haha. We all forget things here and there." He walks down the steps and leans his arm on the wall of my apartment. My heart skips a beat. I could get a good glimpse of his biceps. Oh god he's so attractive.

"Come here baby." He says grabbing me

"Oh... really? Uh... woah ok" I go with it and kiss him. He grabs my ass and pushes me against the wall. "I'm gonna do many great things to you." He says while moaning under his breath. "Do it. Do it all." I say.

"Are you ok?" He says.
"Yes do it all." I moan.
"Yo, are you ok? Hellooo Jadeee" waving his hand in my face.

Oh man. I was daydreaming. Wow. I snap out of it.
"Oh huh, oh yeah."

"Are you sure? You seem a little off." He seems concerned.

"Yeah, *i put my hand on my forehead* I'm just feelin a little tired. Uh, how was the party?" I change the subject.

"Oh it was great!" He exclaims.

"Mmhmm I bet it was. Getting all up in that ... nvm." "Ohh, haha, I bet you did."

"Haha, why you say that?" He chuckles

"Well I mean you know, you were with Charlotte ya know... aloooone."

"Oh yeah haha, oh well I mean there was something that kind of made it awkward."

"Was it your first time?" I ask. I shouldn't have asked this.

"Huh?" "Whatchu tryna say?" His voice gets just a little louder. Oh man. Did I piss him off?

"Oh uh.. um.. I.. I don't know. I don't know what I'm sayin. I must be this tired wow, I should just ... go." I proceed to shut the door. He grabs my arm.

"Wait what no don't leave! What do you mean was it my first time?"

"Well uh, not that I was stalking yall or anything, I had nothing else to do but I just looked over and saw yall go .. upstairs." I blush.

"Ohhh, yeah she was just feeling a little claustrophobic down stairs and she wanted to just be in a room just me and her."

"Oh." I start to blush more.

"Yeah. And she was feelin kinda down and it made it awkward cause there was this couple in the room next to us.. ya know.. getting it on.. like.... reallll hard."

Oh man... oh god. It wasn't even them. I was listening to a whole different couple having sex. I feel so ashamed of myself. Wow. And I just totally embarrassed myself. "Oh man, yeah I heard some noise upstairs. I went up there.." He interrupts.

"Were you trying to spy on us or something??"

Oh man. My heart is beating faster than lightning right now.

"Oh no no! I actually was looking for the bathroom and then I was gonna leave."

"Oh." He says with a blank expression on his face. "Well, listen, uh, it's getting pretty late, I know you're tired. You should probably go back to bed."

"Haha yeah, alright, I'll see you tomorrow possibly?" I say nervously.

"Bye Jade." He says and walks away.

I shut the door. I slide down the door and sit on the floor. Oh my god, i've messed up big time. He's mad at me. I know he is. Oh my god how do I make this up to him. All these thoughts just circle in my mind. It's too much to handle. So I just lay back down in bed and just go to sleep.

The next morning I wake up and check my phone. I go directly to Brandon's instagram. I just stare at it. I still feel so ashamed of what I said. I look at his story and it's just a video of him jamming to some music from yesterdays party. I sigh and just put my phone down.

I can't get Brandon out of my mind. I'm so scared to see him again. I don't know what's gonna happen the next time I see him. Or AM I gonna see him ever again? Man, having anxiety is terrible. It makes me overthink even more than a normal person would.