S T R E N G T H

chapter 1 : Story of my life

There's really not that much to tell you about my life , I'm only 23 years old and my life has been through hell . I can't honestly say when the last time I've been happy , Well when I had my baby boy king that was the blessing of my life . He came out of this belly so healthy and handsome , I'll always remember to tell him not to let anyone manipulate him into doing anything that he doesn't want to do .

Me on the other hand I've been raised around violence , My mother was brutally killed by my father then I seen him kill himself right in front of my face . There's nothing in this world that scares me besides my baby father Ash , He totally takes advantage of my whole life basically . What's crazy is he was the perfect guy when we got together , The romantic one that you'd eventually want kids by until his mom died .. That's when hell broke loose , I mean god rest her soul but after that he's been blaming me for the death of his mom when she ACTUALLY died from CANCER . He says " you're bad luck and if you didn't come around I would still have my mother " which really hurt me but I stuck through his abuse mentally and physically .

Every night I come home from work it's something new , Only time he wouldn't hit me is if I have our son in my hands . He really has not one soft spot in his bones or body for me and it's sad , This man kills me with his words and actions but doesn't seem to care at all ! I do the best I can't to satisfy him but I'll never do good enough for him .

He's cheated in my face multiple times in public embarrassing me , One time we where at the mall another one of his ways for " fixing it " or " making it up to me " .

We where walking around and he told me to get anything I want and handed me 1,000 dollars in my hand ! While he went to get us something to eat . Well I took the money and walked away to a certain spot , I already seen him looking behind us every 5 seconds at some females . It wasn't going down like this , He must've wnt up with them in the food court .. well I made my ass down there and spy'd on them . Worst thing I've ever did , " ash wtf are you doing " I said smacking the cup out his hands while he was sitting at the table with these bitches . " you crazy hoe " he said raising his voice causing me to flinch . I knew it was my ass when I got home and I don't know why I did that , The best thing for me to do was walk away and I didn't something was telling me to stick up after all these years . " you sitting round here with these hoes ? I got something for your ass " I said while picking up someone's soda and poured it all over his head .

He looked super pissed and the fact that everyone was laughing and recording made it even worst , I could've went out and seeked for help but I just felt so bad so I went out to the parking lot and sat in the car . He came down after about 20 minutes , I saw him walking towards the car and I could tell by his face I might die tonight and he wouldn't have a care in this world if I was gone .

He got in the car and it was complete silence , I knew something was wrong and I honestly didn't wanna make it any worst so I just sat in silence as he drove us home . He was speeding like maybe doing 80 mph on a 55 speed limit road . That was his way of showing me he would kill us with no hesitation but got was my guardian angel and watching over me at certain times .

We reached to the front of out house and he parked in the garage . I stuffed the money in my purse and he grabbed me by my wrist then snatched back all his money , I mean well I didn't need it my career was good enough .. I'm a cosmetologist and a part time nurse . The money was coming in regardless everything he did was a plus ,  I have my own 2 cars and I'll be able to support my damn self . My mom always told me not to let no nigga feel like he's got one up on you and I damn sure did .

I was scared to get out the car , I layed my head back on the chair trying to avoid any eye contact or problems . " Get the fuck out now " he said yelling to the point where the glass windows in the car could've broke and shattered into pieces . My heart dropped from my chest to my ass and I rushed out that car as quick as I could .