S T R E N G T H

chapter 5 : Love or Hate

I woke up slumped over in the tub with water , My head was pounding and my face was throbbing . There was literally a puddle of blood all over the floor and in the tub . I touched my face and couldn't move my lips or nose , This was literally the worst pain I ever felt . I don't remember anything that happened last night .

I found the strength to move my legs and the water was splashing everywhere as I got up , The amount of water that was in this tub was scary . You'd think someone died , He really put me in the tub after and left me not knowing what could've happened . The fact that my clothes where still on really confused me in how I got in here .

The bathroom was full of blood and my body was sore to the point I felt like falling out to the ground . I looked into the mirror and saw cuts a bruises on my face , These were going to hard covering up . I turned around to look at the scars he left from hitting me with his belt like I his child .

I had enough of this , My wig was almost off so I just pulled it completely off . My hair was in back braids and I decided to sit on my toilet and unbraid each one . I finished in minutes , My hair was out in a curly fro . These wet clothes had to go , I took off the dress and walked into my bathroom closet not making any loud noises . My pajamas were already put in order so I just put them on before leaving out the bathroom . This blood was going to sit there so he can see how much blood I lost , He wasn't even in the room . I was scared thinking he would pop up out of nowhere and start some shit again .

I walked out my room and smelled pancakes , It took everything in my not to go downstairs but I just felt the need to show him what he did to my face . I walked slowly into the kitchen and he had a whole table set up with roses and glasses of champagne .

" wassup baby " he said walking over to me grabbing me and kissing me on my lips that were swollen in need of stitches maybe . I sat there stuck for a almost 5 minutes , This mad suffered from bipolar and it was so sad .

" Come sit down and eat , and listen .. I'm sorry about last night . I was just scared that you'd cheat on me and leave me when I need you the most " he said grabbing me hand , He picked me up off my feet and sat me at the table . I couldn't move my lips so there was no point of me smiling or saying anything .

" I can't move my lips " I said mumbling and he totally ignored what I had to say , He didn't give a fuck so why should I even tell him .

He forced me to eat his nasty ass food , Ash couldn't cook at all . That was his weakness all he could make was cereal and boil some hot dogs . I'm surprised he didn't burn down this house . I sat in silence there was nothing for me to say to him . He started to talk towards me , When he raised his hands I flinched immediately .

" listen , I'm sorry about the whole birthday situation .. I should've been there with you having fun . I know you don't go out much and it's my fault but Jenn you know I love you with all my heart and I don't want anything to happen to you . You complete me and so many different ways . When the time come I do want to make you my wife and have more kids but if you do stuff like this it'll destroy us completely baby .. just give me another chance to make it up to you " he said on his knees pleading to , I don't know if I should believe him but this was the first time he's completely confessed his love to me or even said I love you . What made him realize that all he's been doing was wrong and that I'm no harm to him all I want is for him to change so we can get married and have kids .

Listen I love him with all my heart & I can't leave ash no matter how many times I try , Yeah I might seem dumb but he makes up for his doings and he knows he's wrong . As long as he keeps this positive attitude I can stay with him and build our relationship more better , This is all I want from him .