Missing Pieces

Chapter Four

Rick sat on the couch, Carl and Negan sat in the two chairs in front of him. His hands were bound behind his back still, but with rope instead of cuffs. Carl didn't know they were cutting his skin, so he sent someone to get the rope. Daryl was still cleaning the floor, the vomit was gone and so was the smell, but Negan wanted it to "shine in the light" so with Rosita watching, Daryl continued to mop and shine the floor. Rick felt bad for both of them, Daryl and Rosita. They used to be friends, but in order to survive they had to detach themselves from one another and make up entirely new personalities. Rick looked around the room before looking back at them. On the side of Daryls neck was a butterfly tattoo, the same tattoo was on Rositas hand. Rick didn't know it was possible to feel any more bad for them.

A loud thud made Rick jump. He whipped around and looked at Negan with wide eyes. Negan had swung his bat and hit it against the table, causing himself to grin and Carl to smirk. Rick wondered if the kid was always this cold, if he was always just a little off and Negan brought it out. Rick didn't like believing bad was born into the earth, only created. Carl went bad when Negan hurt him, when he had no one else to live and be perfect for. Or maybe this was an act, Carl just had to be hard so Negan wouldn't be angry. Negan was powerful, he controlled the entire thing, even Carl, so it wasn't hard to believe there was a real Carl, then the kid Negan talked to on a day to day basis.

Judith was on the floor, rolling aroind plastic cars and tossing around dolls. The child was going to grow up with this being normal. With a man who tore people apart and a kid who followed in his foot steps. She wouldn't know any different. The groaning walkers out front would be normal too. Killing them and working with Negan would feel natural, like second nature. Rick pitied her, but he was also jealous. She would never see the normal life she could have, but she would also never miss the normal life she would've had. It was better that way, memories were dangerous.

"Eyes on me," Negan lifted the bat and leaned it against the chair, crossing his legs. He folded his hands together and looked at Rick. It felt like Negan was looking through him, somehow soaking up all the pain. What happened to Negan to make him this way? Who did he loss? What did someone take from him? His innocence? His strength? Did he lose a partner or child? Something had to have happened to make him this guarded and cold. Something to make him this systematic and controlling. Like Rick always believed, bad was always created, Negan wasn't born like this. But that didn't mean Rick couldn't hate him. "Carl tells me you've always been alone, that you never had anyone with you, or no sign of anyone."

"Yes," Rick nodded. He looked down at his lap, spreading his legs. Being under Negans gaze was intimidating. He felt like Negan could see all the bad things he's done, all the mistakes his made and the things he's lost. Part of Rick wanted to be like that, to be able to read people. He understood the people that admired Negan. The power was beautiful, anyone who had been weak and controlled would crave it, even Rick. That was what Rick hated most about himself. He wasn't the saint he always tried to be, no matter how hard he worked, he could never stop making mistakes. "My wife and son... they... I don't know where they are. I woke up from a coma and all of this was happening-"

"Is this guy serious?" Negan shook his head, laughing. He turned and looked at Carl, his laugh stopping for a moment. He breathed heavily. "Carl.." Negan chuckled. He was breathless. "You can't believe this guy? I mean come on, waking up from a coma and the dead have taken over? That's so fucking stupid. This isn't some comic book." He slapped Carls arm. "Hey." His entire tone had changed. "Don't be weak, that's the rule when we talk to people. Don't buy into their sob stories, we need to survive, too." Carl had yet to turn and look at Negan, his eye was trained on Rick, and it was wide open.

"Just... just let him talk, okay?" Carl put his hand over Negans, intertwining their fingers. Rick didn't see their tattoos on them, they must've been on their hips or legs. Most people are lucky enough to have their soulmate tattoo a place where anyone can see. It makes it easier to find people. Rick hoped that they weren't soulmates, the kid deserved better than a man who traumatized him into submission. "I just... I wanna know.." Carl looked down, sighing.