Shameless Imagines

Sister - Fucked Up '*?'

You laid in your bed, staring at the ceiling of the room you shared with your three brothers. It was something like two in the afternoon and you hadn't left the house in days, barely leaving the bed for anything but food and toilet, even that was rare.

You sighed and pulled the cover over your head as you heard someone walk up the stairs before opening the door and you recognized it was Lip. You knew everyone by the simple things, whenever Lip walked into a room, he never knocked and didn't exactly walk lightly, also his breathing was a bit heavier than others.

"Get up, Y/N." He said, pleadingly but also a little bored of the whole situation. You just stayed silent, not moving, not speaking and not acknowledging him. "Y/N." He spoke a little harsher.

Once again, you didn't move and you heard him sigh before walking towards the bed and snatching the covers off. Cold instantly rushed over you as you laid in your pajamas, which was nothing but shorts and a top.

You groaned, not even opening your eyes to look at him, before getting the pillow under your head and pushing it over your face to block out, well, everything.

"Y/N, get the fuck up!" He shouted.

"Get the fuck out!" You instantly retaliated, pointing to the door as you propped yourself up on the bed, getting pissed off now.

He looked a little shocked before covering it, "Come downstairs and eat."

"I'm not hungry." You looked away from him, gazing at the floor as your voice lowered.

"What are you anorexic now?" He spat.

"No, I'm just not hungry!" You shouted back, looking at him once again.

He looked over to a picture on the floor, you were happy, it was a while ago he wasn't going to lie, he sighed as he looked away and back to you, lowering his voice, "Please just come and eat."

You looked up at him, finally giving in, "Fine." you told him through clenched teeth, if he wasn't going to leave, then you might as well make him happy and eat for three minutes.

You jumped off the bed, storming past him and putting a jacket on as you shoved his shoulder with yours.

You feet slumped down the stairs and everyone looked at you, the talking stopped before they quickly looked away, not wanting it to be awkward, but it didn't help, you already felt like a stranger in your own home.

You poured yourself a bowl of cereal, the only noise in the room was Fiona talking to Liam and Lip opening the fridge as he watched you. You kept your gaze on the bowl as you sat at the end of the table, slowly eating, only getting two spoonfuls in before you got too uncomfortable and got up, leaving the bowl on the side.

"Y/N." Fiona spoke

"What?" You said, trying not to snap at her as you held onto the wall near the stairs, you were so close to leaving.

"What's going on with you?" Ian spoke before she could say anything.

"Ian, don't." You shook your head and took your hand off the wall as you heard his chair scrape against the floor and he stood behind you. You turned towards him, "Please, just, leave me."

Fiona and Debbie took Liam into the other room as they knew what was about to happen, and they couldn't watch it. Not again. You watched their backs as they left, tears building up in your eyes and your teeth grinding inside your mouth as your lips stayed shut.

Lip leaned against the kitchen sink, sipping a beer. Carl leaned forward on the wooden table, even if he was slightly younger than you, he acted and protected you just how Lip and Ian did, and you didn't mind, you kinda liked it like that.

Ian watched as you looked around, feeling the pressure and not being able to look him in the eye, he was past annoyed at this point, they all were.

"What's going on with you?"

"You wouldn't understand Ian." 

"Then help me understand, make me understand what you're going through Y/N!" He raised his voice a little.

"I can't! Don't you get it? I can't help you understand if I don't even know what the fuck is wrong with me!" You finally opened up. It wasn't much but they could finally read into you a bit more and up until now it was killing them, but knowing what you were going through wouldn't make them feel much better.

You carried on, your voice only slightly lower but still pleading, "I don't know why I'm like this, I-I-I don't know why I keep doing this every damn time!" You were exhausted and the boys could see that, "I come back to it and screw my life up more! I just need it to stop. I need everything to stop." Your voice cracked and a few tears dropped down in anger, "It's not fair, none of it is fucking fair! All of you guys are moving on with your lives, I-" I sighed, "I mean even Frank is better. You're all moving forward a-and doing shit but it's like I'm just left back, stuck, standing still. It's like I'm paralyzed and I can't breathe Ian." You were almost begging him, begging him to try and understand what you were going through.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Carl spoke, quiet from his place and your wet eyes slowly gazed over to him, "We ask you all the time what's wrong and your never tell us Y/N."

"Because you don't really want to know how I feel. You want me to say what you want to hear and that's that."

"Of course we don't, when we say something we mean it, why would you ever say that?" Lip asked, shocked.

You laugh half heartily, "I don't know." More tears dropped and you just couldn't stop them now, "I'm fucked up Lip."

Ian pulled you into his embrace instantly, he could hear the one happy person in his family speak like this. You were the one person that everyone could rely on, full of happiness, maybe it was too much to make all of them happy.

"I'm exhausted." You squeezed your eyes shut, sniffling, "I just can't do this anymore." You felt Carl and Lips eyes on you as Ian promised to help.

A/N - So I'm not quite happy with how I ended it so if you have any ideas for a part 2 then I'm all ears.