the anatomy of love

000

The more you love, the more you suffer.

Vincent van Gogh

—

You should've seen it coming.

You should've recognized when he stumbled through the doors, swaying, buckled knees
and low eyes—you should've paid more attention, then maybe you would've smelt
the lingering stench of blood in the overly sterilized hospital.

maybe you would've seen and prevented this.

"Someone call the doctor!"

"Is there a doctor here?"

"Oh my gosh, is he having a seizure?"

You squeeze your eyes closed as the voices surround you and the body on the ground
of the hospital, your hand halfway through unbuttoning the stranger's shirt as you press your ear to his chest.

"Doctor what's wrong with him?"

"I'm not a doctor," voice soaking with
agitation, you feel the young man's wrist—bruised and warm.

People were staring, women were clutching their hands to their chests and men were huddled together as if trying to figure out how to console their wives.

But everyone had two things in common,
they wanted the boy to live, and they wanted
to know what was going on.

Unfortunately you couldn't promise
either of those things."You're going to
be alright...can you hear me?"

The brown haired male somehow makes a groaning sound of sorts, however it was so
low that you almost missed it.

"Can you tell me your name?"

"..." Pain crosses the already paled male and your eyes wander to his fingers as they grip at the hospital tiles, trying to pull himself up into a sitting position.

"No just sit back," Pressing your hand to his bare chest, you gently persuade him to lay flat again, however he begins to shake his head frantically, eyes still squeezed tight and a grimace across his lips.

"It's okay, I got you."

Only after you give your word does the male begin to ease and lean back into the floor. What wasn't expecting however was for him to bolt up in a coughing fit not even moments later—the boy going into violent spasms as he hits the side of his head against the glossy floors; blotches of red appearing on both his head and floor.

Between the pounding of bone on tile, the shouts of agonized bystanders filled the
room, a few people covering their eyes.

"Hey!" Straddling your weight on him, it took all of your energy to keep him from bashing his head against the ground— "It's okay. Its okay I got you.."

You really should've known, you should've recognized how lethargic he was...how his
eyes were so lost and empty; as if he were staring into an endless nothing.

Cradling the stranger against your chest, you could feel the wetness of blood seeping into your blouse as well as the beating of his heart
—and it was dangerously sparse.

"Someone get the damn nurse!" Whipping your head around to bark at whoever was nearest, you turn back to the male who was gripping you with what could've been all the life he had left in him.

The moment the echo of shoes fill your ear,
you shake your head. "Heart failure," you mumble, feeling the shaking of the masculine body tucked into you.

"We need paddles and a stretcher immediately, Miyo," The nurse shouts to a younger lady who had rushed into the room; causing her to immediately turn back and run into a back room.

Meanwhile the shaking had turned to quivering and whimpers from the male, and you were struggling to feel any pulse."We don't have time to wait, someone help me set him down."

Without hesitation the first nurse comes to your aid, unlatching the boy's fingers from your back and easing him into a flat back position.

And you being already straddled over him; begin to pump your hands on his chest.
"One...two...three...Where's that stretcher?!"

Like magic the squeaking of wheels roll into the room—along with two other nurses who come to aid you in lifting the body onto the stretcher before resuming the pumps to his chest.

Staying low on the cart as the women push you both to urgent care, everyone began shouting commands to others across the room while you just made sure to preserve the body in front of you.

Dull brown eyes glazed over, the male stares at you with helplessness painted across his face.

"You're gonna be fine..." You whisper as the air brushes your hair back, "Can you tell me your name?"

There was silence and for a moment you half expected him to fall back unconscious, but in your ear there was a soft pearly voice, shaking and cracked.

"R...ruby."

And then his eyes rolled back.