7 deadly sin [{BTSXBLACKPINK SHORT STORIES}]

ENVY final

"Love myself, love yourself"

Namjoon POV

- Have you called the university yet?

I briefly shook my head, focusing on my meal, really not in the mood for a talk.

But it seems like my mom doesn't give a clue.

- You need to hurry and think about the conditions we'll put to your admission. They better be ready to step up their games if they want to keep up with the Ivy-league...She grins watching the table

But I don't look at her. I just can't ignore my mood and my feelings.

It has been annoying me since the orientation race, which was almost a month ago but since then, I've been kind of...uncomfortable, feeling weird for some reasons.

- Kim Namjoon are you even listening to me?

I quickly shake my head and walk to my room

- Sorry I was spacing out.

- Spacing out?

I hear the surprise in her voice but again I don't mind it. I try to work on some project, then to read some articles, even to do maths but I'm too off to fully focus, and it's growing on me.

I let myself fall on my bed and stares at the ceiling.

I end up sighting.

She isn't silly.

I shouldn't have say that, I was...wrong.

I put my hand on my eyes, blinding myself.

This is so new to me but...I have to try to explore my...feelings.

Just saying that makes me cringe but I have to be honest. No matter what I say I am frustrating, frustrating with myself and always comparing my behavior to others. Until now there hadn't been any consequences because I always have found a way to prove that I am superior.