Love Out of Lie

Chapter 18

Chapter 18 | Pretend

I expected things to change, but not in this way. I never feared changes... but sometimes, I wished it never happened.

I tried to get used to Jijinia's new personality, she was far from the friend I once had. She seemed to be more outgoing and hyper compared before. She was always surrounded by Franz's friends, the reason why I didn't try again after the first day I approached her.

Susuportahan ko naman siya kung si Franz talaga ang gusto niya o kahit pa may iba na siyang mga kaibigan. I expected those things anyway... but I just couldn't fully digest her treatment towards me. It sucked being with her in one room every single day. I had to pretend every minute that I was fine with all of it.

I somehow thanked Syru for making me a studious student. Being an ABM student truly shocked me, I knew this wouldn't be easy but really-I could literally pass out anytime soon. I couldn't exactly tell how I survived the first months and how I was even a part of the top students.

I was still in awe when our adviser told us to stand in front with our printed certificates on hand. It was as if I was walking in the air as I obeyed our teacher. I smiled even though everything felt like a dream to me.

"Congratulations."

Nabalik lamang ako sa reyalidad nang lapitan ako ni Ji at sinabi iyon sa akin. Hindi siya kasama sa top tulad noon. Hindi ko alam kung ano ba ang dapat kong isagot sa kanyang sinabi kung kaya't tumango na lang ako at muling bumalik sa aking pwesto.

Dahil sa letseng listahan na iyon, nakita ng mga iba naming teachers ang top students. Para tuloy akong na-pressure na dapat pagbutihin ko pa ang pag-aaral. Lagi rin akong natatawag sa mga recitations, ang malala, kung kailan hindi ko alam ang sagot ay saka ako tinatawag.

Parang ginagago na nga lang ako ng lahat ngayong taon.

Dumagdag pa itong lalaking may ngalang Mikael Trojan Zorron. Hindi naman siya madalas pumunta sa school para lang makausap ako pero sobrang ingay niya sa lahat ng social media accounts ko.

Kung noon, hirap na hirap akong makakuha ng reaction mula sa kanya, ngayon ay kahit 5 minutes ago pa lang ang post ko or story lumilitaw na siya.

Gusto kong kumbinsihin ang sarili na normal lang naman ang ginagawa niya at hindi dapat palakihin pa pero hindi ko pa rin maiwasang magulat.

Mabuti nga't hindi pa niya ako ginugulo sa messages. Madalas lang siyang magtanong sa akin kung kumusta ang araw ko, sobrang pa-fall talaga ng lalaking 'to.

I wouldn't deny that he made me happy because of his little tactics. This year has been lonely for me even if I tried befriending others to survive. It felt nice to receive such questions from others after a tiring day.

Mom has been distant to me as well, though I wasn't sure if it was really her or me. We just don't talk much anymore and everyday she seems worried about something.

Maybe it was just work, I heard Troyen's going to launch something new again... or maybe it was really me. I've been focused on my studies and sometimes, I'd skip meals to finish my school work.

"Parang mahahati na ang utak ko!" I ranted when I felt my eyes tearing up.

I was double checking our proposed entrepreneurial solution presentation and I swear, my head was about to break. I used to watch movies and just spend my Saturdays chilling before. I didn't wish to be stressed like this!

Sobrang ganda pa dahil saktong Lunes agad ang presentation. Maayos naman ang idea at buo lahat ng features ng product namin, iyon nga lang kinakabahan ako para sa defense dahil may panelists daw na inimbitahan ang guro namin.