Thorn (Carmichael Series #5)✔️

Tell Me How You Really Feel

**I promise this chapter will be worth the wait, ya'll. If you aren't crying by the end, then you have no heart. Lol, love you all! Please don't forget to comment and vote! It helps me out**

Tansy's POV

I drove under the speed limit back to Tanner's apartment from Poppy's house, thinking about everything they'd told me while I was there.

For one, I knew there was absolutely no way I could give him up. Not after everything I'd experienced with him and how I felt for him when I really thought about it. He made me laugh and we had incredible chemistry in bed - but then again we'd never had a non-fighting encounter that didn't involve either his tongue, fingers, or cock inside of me. That realization was a hard pill to swallow. But - for the sake of our child - that was going to change. I wanted more with Tanner, that much I knew. I'd been developing true feelings for him up until he purposely hurt me with Titty.

The second realization I came to was that I was cheating both Tanner and myself. He'd been his true, albeit crazy, self the entire time we'd know each other. He never held back or tried to give me less than the person he really was, while I was keeping pieces of myself from him. I knew that it was a defense mechanism and that I did it out of fear of being rejected by a man I deemed important (for the second time in my life), but that was all going to change. I was going to open up and finally allow someone other than my family to try and figure me out without any reservations or walls around my heart.

Now, I just needed to figure out how the fuck I was going to break the news of our child to Tanner. Well, that and when exactly I was going to do it. I agreed with Poppy and Evan that it would be totally unacceptable to keep something of this caliber from him, but I was also absolutely terrified that if I told him about this baby, I would spend the rest of my life wondering if he truly fell in love with me because of who I am or if he loved me because he was made to stick around for our child. It's selfish and irrational but I can't help the way my brain thinks.

I didn't have a single doubt that he would stick by my side and be loyal after I told him about our child. I mean, for fuck's sake look what he did for his sister! He could've just allowed her to enter the foster system, made sure she was placed with a good family, and kept tabs on her but he altered his own life and spent four years fighting for custody. What I was worried about was how he would feel about me years down the road. Would he hold resentment towards me for accidentally getting pregnant (even though he did play just as big of a role) and therefore forcing him to be tied to me by default?

I know he's already confessed his love to me once, but I stick by what I said to him. There's no way he actually loves me just yet, but I desperately want us to get to that point. It's not the baby I'm worried about at all - it's the timing of it all.

And God, what will Calla say and think?!

I gave myself a headache with the last thought before deciding that I needed to stop conjuring up ideas that were making me sick to my stomach before I even told Tanner. I could sit here and imagine different scenarios for hours, but nothing would make a difference besides actually telling him.

**

I sat next to Tanner on a bench at the park, watching Calla run around with other little girls her age. I tried encouraging her to play with some of the boys too, but she was adamant against it. Children, I swear.

I usually would be up running around with her, but the second we sat down a wave of exhaustion swept over my body. I was doing everything I could to keep my eyes open and maintain consciousness.

I'd blinked for just a bit too long when Tanner grasping my hand in his own pulled me back. I let out a quiet gasp before clearing my throat and glancing down at our intertwined fingers. He began rubbing his thumb across my knuckles, the action soothing me more than I wanted to admit.