Flower Child

Chapter 2

"Lou?" Lottie asks as she knocks on my bedroom door, taking a step inside my bedroom. I'm sitting on the floor folding my baby's laundry before placing the clothing inside the drawers of his dresser in my bedroom.

Glancing up at her as she stands there fidgeting while watching me. "What's up, Lottie?"

"Can I ask you a question, Lou?" she asks quietly while staring at the floor.

"Sure, if you look at me," I say while staring at her.

Lottie picks her head up to look at me. "Why did you keep him?" she asks motioning toward my baby bump. "I mean come on Lou, it's an abomination and can you truly love it when it wasn't created out of love?"

Staring at her for a moment, I'm shocked at her questions. She's the only one that won't acknowledge that my son is a person, not an 'it'. "Because it isn't my son's fault that his other parent is a horrible person, Lottie. It isn't my son's fault that I was rapped. How could I punish him for what happened to me?" I ask around the lump in my throat. Out off all of my family, I thought she would be the one who understood.

Her eyes flash from confusion to anger in an instant. "So? It's a horrible thing! That thing growing your belly I will never love because it took your teen years away from you!"

Standing up I cross my arms in anger at my sister now. "That's enough, Charlotte! My son isn't an 'it' or a 'thing' and he most certanily didn't take anything from me! Out of everyone in my life, I thought you would be the one to understand that he's something wonderful that came from a horrible situation!"

"Hey, what's with all the yelling?" I hear mum ask from my door from behind Lottie. She looks between my sister and I and something must of clicked because she turns her attention to my sister, slightly angry.

"Charlotte! You and I had this discussion! You're brother was the one who was rapped and made the discission himself to keep the baby! It was and is no one else's choice if he did or not! If you can't accept that your brother wanted to keep the one bright thing in his life out of a horrible situation, then you need to shut the hell up and leave him alone about it!"

My jaw drops at this confession. She's talked to mum about this before? Turning my attention back to my sister, angrier than I was before. "You will not be holding, looking at or talking to my son when he's born! To think I ws going to ask you if you wanted to be his Godmother, I'm glad I didn't!"

By now I have tears streaming down my face in anger and hurt at my sister. "I was rapped not you! Yes, you can have your opinon on this but it's not your damn place to voice it to me, trying to make me feel guilty about not punishing an innocent child for what happened! Fuck you, Lottie!"

With that I left mum and her with open mouths as I leave my room to leave the house, ignoring their hollers for me to come back. I don't know where I'm going or what I'm going to do but I can't stay in the house with her. Grabbing mum's car keys out of the bowl by the front door and I leave in her car to the meadow.

Slamming the car door shut, I wander the meadow taking in the different colored flowers. Breathing deeply I allow the sweet smell help calm me from the argument with my sister. Finding sticks and flowers that I like, I find a place to sit to start making a crown for myself. This always calms me, making flower crowns is soothing when I feel stressed. The crown I made has blue flowers.

About an hour after I left, mum calls my phone. Sighing softly as I answer her call. "Hi mumma, I'm sorry I left without asking to use your car. I'll be on my way home in a moment."

"It's not mum, it's me," I hear Lottie's voice on the other end.

Frowning to myself I sigh softly. "What do you want?" I ask not even trying to contain my frustrations.