𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔻𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤 𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕥 ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕤𝕦𝕞𝕖𝕤 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕃𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 ➀

40 FUTURE

A FEW YEARS LATER

"So, Sean, how are you coping with the challenges of being a new father?" My dumb cunt of a therapist asks.

I hate this woman but here I am, fucking chit chatting away about the shit-ton of problems I have yet again. At least it's better than group therapy and I don't have to hear about every other fucking person's bullshit existence. Hear about all of their past trauma. No, I just get to sit and talk about mine.

I think about her question for a moment. How did I really feel about being a father now? Well, shit was stressful that's for sure but after Monica had given birth to our son my world had stopped. It was almost like watching a movie where they fast forward or rewind really fast and then it stops, pinpointing that one moment in time. The birth of my son had been that moment. The moment to change all things for me.

Watching Monica cry out, scream, curse my very name until she was blue in the face had all been worth it when I had heard that cry. That first blissful sound that had erupted from my son's throat. That's the moment Monica stopped hating me and began crying as she clutched onto our son. She kept saying, "Sean, we made him, we made this little human."

I had cupped my hand over my mouth and my eyes had filled with tears. I had never felt prouder of Monica or myself then I did in that moment. My world had stopped. My world did a complete one-eighty. My entire brain flipped upside down the moment Seth was born. Everything changed for me because it was no longer just about Monica and I.

The center of my universe became the two people on that hospital bed. Monica had been all I had seen before, the only person I had ever let inside, but when she had gotten pregnant everything had changed. After carrying our child inside of her, giving birth to him, and nourishing him in her arms like that, she became the reason I live and breathe.

I had stopped using and had tempered my drinking but I had refused to talk to anyone. Monica had said it would be helpful to learn how to cope or whatever if I talked about my past trauma and shit. Once Seth was born it was a reminder that I had to be a better parent than the ones that my brother and I had had.

So... here I am...

"Well, it's hard waking up at all different fucking hours of the night but I do what I have to do. I stay up with Mon or I let her sleep and feed the little guy so she can get some rest."

"Sounds like you're handling the transition into fatherhood well."

"Why the fuck wouldn't I?" I glare at her because I know there are a lot of reasons why I should be having problems but fuck her.

"I see the swearing is still an issue." She jots down a few notes and every time she does that it irks the living hell out of me. Literally. You know, since we're talking about all of my inner demons and such.

"That's the fucking least of my problems." So you can take that pen and shove it right up your...

"Let's talk about your decision to sell the club." She asks, interrupting my mental insult.

"Monica needs to be with the baby and I need to try to be a good father. There's no way I'm going to maintain sobriety right now if I'm surrounded by alcohol all the time. Plus, Monica was helping me run everything before. She's the real brains behind everything and I'd honestly be lost without her."

She gives me a small smile that appears to be satisfied with what I've said. "There is definite progress being made in your self-awareness. You had said previously that you would never give up the club. You said it was the last thing you had left of Trevor after he had passed away."