( i know nothing of your soul, of the depths of your heart or the darkness of your mind / and yet, somehow, talking to you makes me feel like i've always known )
i spent more sleepless nights than i care to admit with yoongi on my mind. i glanced at my phone frequently - too frequently - the bright light of the screen replacing the moon outside my window, midnight sky dimmed with smog. or maybe it replaced the sun; part of me seemed to revolve around it.
it was a few days after i had last seen him when he texted me. i didn't want to reply immediately, not wanting to seem too eager - besides, it scared me, a little, how fixated i was on him after only a few conversations. it wasn't obsession, or infatuation; it was closer to excitement - maybe a little too much - at the feeling of a spark, a connection, of butterflies in my stomach. there was something about yoongi that felt real, i had realised; something that made it seem like touching him would feel like touching another person, with bruises and scars and rough patches, unlike the unnatural softness of the boys i had kissed in high school. even now, the guys i hooked up with didn't feel tangible, and maybe that's because they were just that: hook ups. they were badly thought out nights where me and some faceless 'straight' guy had one too many drinks, spent the night together and proceeded to never talk to each other again. yoongi didn't seem anything like the guys at my university, nor did he seem like he'd be soft to the touch; i was perfectly okay with that.
i picked up my phone, finally giving in and looking at his text.
yoongi: hey sorry i didn't text
sooner, i got caught up in some
stuff. do you want to come to
my place tomorrow?
some small part of me wished i had it in me to say no, to make him feel the disappointment i had felt from him. that part of me was overtaken by excitement of the idea of of going to his place.
jimin: yeah sure, what's your
address?
jimin: lol what kind of stuff
did u get caught up in???
i regretted the last text as soon as i sent it. if i knew anything about yoongi, it was that he wasn't quick to open up - about anything. i considered deleting it, but to my surprise, he had already seen it, and was typing out a reply.
yoongi: - - - seongbuk, seoul
yoongi: hmm maybe you'll
find out tomorrow
jimin: you've promised a lot
for tomorrow,, everything
you've been caught up in for
the past few days AND stuff
that's changed since u were
my age
jimin: should i be excited lol
yoongi: how the fuck did
you remember that
yoongi: and no
jimin: it was literally like
three days ago ofc i remember
jimin: why not
yoongi: damn ok i forgot
yoongi: my life isn't that
interesting. nothing to get
excited over
jimin: i beg to differ ur life
seems very interesting
we kept talking like that, for a while. it was unnerving to me, how the feeling of having known him forever translated so smoothly into text.
i went to sleep that night with excitement burning my stomach, despite all of yoongi's claims that there was nothing to be excited over. and, though the immediate comfortableness of talking to him was unnerving for me, i know i wouldn't have had it any other way.
-
ugh queen of not updating is back. suddenly got really inspired to write his i have no clue why
