| university | d.h

| two |

(a/n: by the way I changed dan, phil, and pj's ages so everything makes sense.)

// Dan //

I slam the door to Phil's dorm closed and lock it, sliding down the wood until I'm sitting on the fluffy carpet. The carpet in these dorms probably costed more than my fucking house. His room is exactly the same as mine- scrubbed walls, newly cleaned carpets, small as a matchbox- but is already decorated from top to bottom with all of the useless things that he finds necessary. I haven't had the chance to put posters up or any of that shit in my room, because the hour that I've been at this stupid university I've spent running from my crazy roommate.

"Hey, mate."

Phil pops his head out from the bathroom, which I know is small and too brightly lit, just like mine, and walks over to me with two beers in one hand and a pack of cigarettes in the other. Thank fuck. He throws a beer to me and sits on the left bed, which is the climax of the decor, covered with a Pokemon bedspread and more than three plush lions. He's never going to get laid.

"Where's your roommate at?"

I ask, taking a long needed swig of my beer. There are a few boxes of shit stacked on the other bed and desk, but they're unopened and the guy isn't around.

"I don't care, he's an asshole."

Phil chuckles, lighting a cig and putting it between his lips before passing the pack to me. I crack the window and turn on the ceiling fan, even though I'm not worried about getting caught. No one ever checks in on the students here, and so far my drinking and smoking habits have gone mostly unnoticed.

"What about yours?"

I sigh when Phil asks this, my roommate is a complete freak. I don't even want to talk about him.

"He's crazy. Tried to get me to do some blood brother voodoo shit or something, then he followed me halfway to your's even after I told him to piss off."

I don't mention that I walked in on the guy rearranging my clothing drawers, because I don't find it necessary. I need a new fucking roommate. Phil and I are both still pissed that we don't get to share a dorm again, like last year, but about thirty students, including ourselves, were moved in with different people after getting caught at a lame ass party off of school grounds. Yet kids still smoke pot in their rooms without the slightest of suspicion - the staff are fucking amateurs.

"He's probably just acting odd because he's intimidated by you. Did you even try to be nice to the guy?"

Phil asks and I groan. I'm so sick and tired of all of the 'nice' talk. I try my best.

"I'm plenty fucking nice, Phil. Get off my case."

After another fifteen minutes of hearing about how much of an asshole I am, I've finally had enough and chug the rest of my beer before letting myself out. Going back to my room and hanging out with my ridiculously odd roommate doesn't sound like the best time, so even though I still have unpacking to do, I head out to find Pj. The halls are much too crowded for my liking, but everyone gets out of my way. This may be my favourite upside to popularity, the people clear away and let me through like I'm royalty. Which I kind of am at this school. A few girls brush against me purposely and I wink at one, who turns to her friends and starts to giggle. Annoying. After about ten fist bumps and an ass slap, I reach the dorm that Pj said was his earlier and knock on the door. With any of my other friends I would just let myself in, but not with Pj. I'm not interested in seeing what he does behind closed doors.

"Danny!"

Pj exclaims, pulling me into a humongous hug and slamming the door closed. We stand like this for a few seconds and I can almost literally feel my insides being crushed into tiny pieces.