Poems, short stories, poetic thoughs, and slam poetry

We are the stars..

🚫Warning🚫 touchy subject ahead! If you cannot handle: suicide, cutting, or blood SKIP THIS SHORT!

"What are you doing to yourself!?"

I tear up remembering the moment I was caught sliding that sharp object across my pale flesh, just to watch my blood to flow through the small gap in the skin.. How just this small act.. Changed me, calmed me, scared me, and just all around made it impossible to be seen as. Normal.

That's a good question...

What am I doing to myself... And I answered honestly.. I spoke into the tears of my crying friend as she's quickly stopping the blood seeping through the skin on my thighs, "I'm fixing myself.." That is exactly what I answered, I remember it like yesterday. Even though that was 5 years ago now. . . 

I can just remember the look of fear in my friends eyes. And the look of sympathy... No, no! Stop! I don't want your sympathy! I don't need your pity..! And even if I did.. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve anything.. 

~Weeks later~

"Dark! You ready??" I can just imagine my friend at the bottom of my steps, waiting.. Worrying.

I'm sitting on my bed.. Blade in hand crying pathetically. My brain screaming things at me like, "DO IT! Your worthless, it's not like anyone will miss you. Do everyone a favor, just get it over with!" I can remember crying more, scolding myself for being so weak, screaming at myself in my head, " I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE! "Then slowly dragging the blade across my pale flesh, yet again falling into the grasps of my depression. I was just longing for emotion. Longing to feel... Something! Anything at all and it would satisfy my craving. 

So I kept going.. Deeper, deeper, until I had hit a vein.. I give up, I lay there unsatisfied, just wishing I was normal and happy like everyone else. I can remember my vision fading. . . In.... And out.. In... And back out again.. This process continued as I felt the blood seeping from those multiple cuts in my thighs and onto the floor.

"DARK!?! Oh my God no!" I hear my friend scream and sob. I hear her running footsteps towards me and I feel her embrace me in her living arms and dual 911. My vision faded to the sound of her sobbing into the phone telling the police to get here quick.

~About 4 and a half weeks later~ 

I wake up in a hospital room. "What's going on?" All I could see is my friend, who I later found out stayed the whole time I was in the hospital, in a chair dozed off . I couldn't help but smile. 

Someone does care... Maybe I can do this... Maybe we will be the stars . . .

★ Hey, this was actually based on an experience i have had. Um, my name is changed to Dark, Obviously for privacy reasons. This is a little more... Sad than I thought.. But, just putting out there I guess.. Don't hate on me for touching on this sensitive subject. Believe me I know, I was in it. Anyway, I'm gonna go ★