Hearts of Stone

9. All but Giving Up

Another day passed, then another, and another. Kat failed to see the Beast, and even the men in the portraits were gone. She avoided spending much time in front of them anyway, weighted as she was by the thought that one of them could be K. She was convinced that if she'd watch the portraits too long, she'd pick one to be him, even if she was wrong.

She didn't want that. She didn't want the silence and the pressure, the fear and the uncertainty, the loneliness and the feeling that the Beast couldn't be bothered by her presence.

So, one morning, once the sun shone on her face and across her huge bed, she just refused to get up. She wasn't hungry, wasn't excited to discover more of the castle, had no one to talk to, no one to write to. She was utterly alone and unimportant and she just wanted to go home and be ignored by her father.

At least she knew he wasn't doing it on purpose, that deep down, he loved her. In this castle, love was gone, if it had ever set foot in there at all.

In the complete silence, she could hear the crows cawing outside her window, in the trees of the dead forest. For a moment, she imagined the sound of birds in the spring as they would play outside the window. The thought that she might actually get to hear them made tears slide down her cheeks.

"I want to go home," she whispered to no one in particular.

The sun waned outside her window. There wasn't much of it anyway. Time ticked by the hours, soon it was dark, with only the light of the full moon bathing her chamber, and still she hadn't risen from her bed, not even to drink water or use the wash room.

It didn't matter. Just like she'd anticipated, no one cared. Everyone had abandoned her, and it hurt so much that she couldn't discard her old life and do the same. Though, to be honest, everything that had happened before her imprisonment felt like a half forgotten dream.

But even so, she missed her father, missed Sophie. She even missed Donnie and his silly jokes, his energy and his excitement to marry her. Even if most people in her village thought she was peculiar and shunned her father, she hadn't realized how much she appreciated the simple fact that they knew who she was, sometimes exchanged a few words with her.

Here, she only had portraits to talk to. And while the painted men were nice to her, with the exception of Joey and William, and sometimes the young Dustin, the others were mostly away and not overly interested in her.

Since her work implied moving around a lot and she avoided the gallery anyway, she couldn't talk to Joey too much.

The Beast only growled and was never around... She'd never dreamed she would actually desire his company. She'd always been fine on her own, so she hadn't even dreamed she could feel lonely. Abandoned.

But she did; she now craved any company. Even if she'd tried so hard to adjust, to find purpose for herself, it had all been a lie. A ridiculous lie. She should have focused on escaping and getting home more.

Her chest ached with the thought of her father, with the worry regarding his fate, the guilt of not thinking about him more, not trying to escape more. She just wanted to close her eyes and leave behind her imprisonment, her pain.

Someone knocked on her door. Her body jerked from the sudden noise, but her mind didn't react.

The Beast knocked again. It wasn't like it could be anyone else. She refused to answer.

"Kat?" he asked, the voice the normal one, lacking the growl.

She was a little surprised he knew her name, but Joey probably told him, so it wasn't a shock.

"Kat, are you alright?" he called again, actual worry in his voice.

It was a bit surprising that the Beast could be worried. Strangely refreshing. A part of her wanted to move and open the door, assure him that she was fine, but she lacked the energy to even answer. Also, a part of her was curious what he would do.