orange | yoonmin ✔️

chapter twelve.

|..yoongi..|

The previous evening seemed so far away, like it never really happened, but rather was a dream. It was fugacious, gone as fast as it had come, and the only way Yoongi knew it really happened was by the way he still felt Jimin's lips on his own, and the basket of oranges that sat by his front door.

He didn't know why he did it.

Yoongi had been so caught up in the moment he didn't even realize he was kissing Jimin until he felt the younger's lips against his own, stiff at first, but then melting into him, the world spinning around them, but everything was still. The gold on Yoongi's eyes had faded into darkness, and when they detached, the sun was gone. 

Yoongi didn't regret it of course, because it was the familiar feeling that he had been deprived of for so long, the feeling that Hoseok couldn't reciprocate anymore. It was the feeling of ephemeral euphoria that he had longed for so much, the thing that he had so desperately tried to draw from Hoseok, but then he realized. He couldn't get it from Hoseok because it had expired for him so long ago.

Up until that moment, Yoongi had always been a misanthrope, and he only had contact with people for his own personal needs, to help him ease his desires. But it was all short term, and even then, even with whoever he decided to use, he disliked the majority. There had been two people to break through his walls, and now one of them was stuck in a ditch, while the other was ever so close to his heart, so close to the throne of the castle he had built for himself. 

Jimin was just steps away from the destruction of the Yoongi everyone knew. Yoongi could feel it- the boy was already stepping over Yoongi's needs to engage in sexual contact. He didn't feel like it was a requirement anymore, like he had with everyone else. 

Yoongi just wanted to hold his hand.

Yoongi just wanted to hold him.

Yoongi just wanted to help Jimin find his voice again.

It was beyond platitude, and Yoongi knew it was just too good to be true, but Yoongi truly saw something in the boy.

The entirety of it all was pretty fucked. 

Never in a hundred years would Yoongi have even thought of falling for a voiceless boy with bubblegum hair and a habit of visiting the cemetery down the street every morning at six AM. 

But, now that it was his reality, his truth, he wouldn't have had it any other way. 

Yoongi felt the urge to call Hoseok.

_____

"So you're telling me that you fell in love with a boy and didn't want to admit it so you tried to get drunk off of my emotions to try to distract you from the fact that your heart belonged to somebody else?"

"When you say it like that it sounds really gross of me," Yoongi said, scrunching his face.

Hoseok was sitting in Yoongi's living room, cup of tea in his grip, as he disliked Yoongi's choice in coffee, a frown present on his face.

"Yoongi, it was pretty gross of you."

"I'm sorry! We were falling apart, and I thought if we hung out or something, or maybe if I kiss you again, I could reignite that spark. But I was dumb. You can't reuse an already struck match."

The red-haired boy across from him nodded, sadly but understanding.

"I wish you had told me, Yoongs, I would've helped you. But you just made things worse. How does..Jimin feel about this?"