Because Sometimes Opposites Attract - Draco Malfoy Fanfic

Chapter 12 - Draco's POV

Why had I done that? Why had I lost control? I knew I couldn't keep on doing this, she really wasn't worth it. She wasn't supposed to worth it and she wasn't worth thinking about. But then again, she was even though she couldn't be. I should've hated her, I wanted to keep insulting her and make fun of her but I couldn't and I didn't like that. Was she doing doing to me? And why was I so fascinated with her? It was just the way she smiled and she just didn't care when someone critisized her and she was funny in her own way. And then there was the way she had acted up on the owl tower that one night. I was just impressed by everything she did and I didn't know why.

I didn't want to like her, I shouldn't have been thinking about her this much. I wanted to hate her and make fun of her eyes that I actually thought were more inviting than anybody else's. I wanted to hate her ginger hair and the way she dressed but I couldn't hate any of it. And how embarrassing would it be if someone found out? How embarrassing would it be if someone knew I was thinking about the new girl like that? She wasn't supposed to be worth a single thought. None of my friends could ever find out.

I arrived at our common room and saw Crabbe and Pansy sitting on one of the couches by the fire. "What took you so long, Malfoy?" Goyle asked as he came down from the dorms. "Yeah, what made you stay in that pissy weather so long?" Pansy wondered and looked at my wet clothes. "Nothing, I just ... walked into some of the others in the Great Hall" I lied but I felt like my face was turning as red as a tomato so I turned and walked straight up to the dorms to change. After that, I stayed there and got into bed.

I had to push all those thoughts about Sam Baker out of my head. She really was not worth thinking about all the time. I mean, she was friends with those blood traitors, Longbottom and Weasley. And she liked that crazy Lovegood girl What was even wrong with me that I wasted my time thinking about someone like that? She may have had pure blood but I had never heart of her family. The thing was, I actually wouldn't have cared about her blood status even if she had been a half-blood or even a filthy mudblood. I knew that would not have made a difference. So I had to make a change myself. I had to just forget about her, I needed a distraction. Oh, who was I kidding? I didn't want a distraction, I wanted to see Sam. She was like a distraction from all the shit I had to deal with. But I knew I could not see her right now, it was almost curfew and after I had left her standing there, down in the dungeons, I knew she would probably punch me again. I didn't know hwo she felt but I could only imagine she hated me. But she had kissed me back, right? Okay, I had to stop those thoughts immediately, I really did. I got up again. Leaving her standing there had actually probably been the first step into the right direction even though it didn't feel like it. But I had to continue. I wasn't going to try and get her anyway, why would I so what was the point? She wasn't worth making me feel bad. No one was supposed to be able to bring me down, especially not some new ginger girl that wasn't even worth my time. I had to start making her feel bad again, that way she wouldn't even let me get close to her even if I tried. I couldn't let myself think about her like this any more. I was done with that, I was done with her and I would just keep on insulting her like I did with Weasley and Longbottom and all those other people I didn't give a damn about. That's what I had been doing all this time, I wasn't going to change for some girl. This was it.

I walked back down into our common room and ironically, they were in the middle of talking about Sam and Longbottom. Baker, Baker and Longbottom, I would not make an exception. "She's the worst, right?" Pansy said and rolled her eyes. "She is" I joined in to get those positive thoughts about her out of my head. "And she's befriending all those other lame weirdos. I mean, seriously, how's that going to help her with her image?" Pansy said. I didn't like her talking about Sam that way but I knew I had to get used to it. Goyle laughed. "And she looks awful, right?" Pansy added. "Yeah, you can just tell by looking at her how weak and pathetic she is" I agreed. This was it, I was not changing for anybody and no one would get inside my head, no one but myself.