Smoke and Fire ||Lams Soulmate AU ||

The Kids Aren't Alright

(I only chose this song for the title, the song itself has nothing to do with the chapter. Anyways, enjoy! Or don't, it's up to you.)

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Peggy drove me to my house a short while before midnight. I hadn't been home in a few days, but that's only because she had me stay at her place so thinks could cool down between my father and I.

"Are you sure you don't wanna stay at my place another night? It's really no trouble." She asked with a smile.

I pulled on the handle and pushed the car door open. "No, it's fine. But really, thank you for everything." She gave me a reassuring smile as I stepped out of the car and shut the door behind me. We exchanged waves as she drove off down the road, leaving me to stand on the only lawn that was unkept in the entire neighborhood.

All of the lights seemed to be off, so I assumed my father was asleep. I marched up to the front door and unlocked it with the key that always sat on top of the door frame. Opening the door slowly and quietly, I crept into the house trying my hardest not to make a sound.

They say you learn something new every day. Well, I learned to never make assumptions when it came to my father, Henry Laurens.

"Hey, Johnny boy! Where've ya been? Martha's missed ya pretty bad." Henry drawled. The way he swayed back and forth on the couch and the five empty beer bottles on the coffee table indicated that he was drunk, but that wasn't anything new.

I shut the front door behind me. "Where is she?" I spat, not even bothering to make eye contact.

He let out a bitter, emotionless laugh. "Hell if I know?" He picked up another bottle of beer and popped the cap off. I huffed and turned to go to my room, but stopped in my tracks when I heard the sound of a bottle shattering on the wall next to me, glass breaking to fragments and hitting the ground.

Henry was standing up when I turned to look at him. He couldn't stand still for the life of him, but yet he managed to look as intimidating as ever. "Who the fuck raised you to turn your back to me, boy?" He growled. His alarmingly deep voice reverberated through the living room.

I didn't respond, and my feet felt glued to the ground. He hobbled over to me, the moonlight from outside casting a shadow across half of his face. He towered over me, looking down as if I was the scum of the Earth. "I said, who. The fuck. Raised you."

"Y-you did." I stammered.

I realized that no matter what I said would have been the wrong answer, and his hand flew across my cheek, leaving a red hand print that would definitely bruise in about an hour. I stumbled back, cupping my face to try and soothe the stinging sensation.

Henry shoved an accusing, stiff finger into my chest, causing me to stumble even farther backwards. "I don't ever want you to disrespect me like that again, you hear me?" His voice was so deep and low that it was almost inaudible.

My lip quivered as I tried my best to hold back a tear. I simply nodded and mumbled "y-yes, sir."

Henry shoved his fist into my stomach, making my double over and hold my arms across my torso. "I thought so."

Before turning to go back to his beer, he spat on the floor in front of where I stood. I ran off to my room before he could see that my face was now flooding with salt water. I quietly closed the door so he didn't have yet another reason to get mad at me. I sat against the door, head in my hands, and broke down.

"Did daddy hit you again?"

I lift my head and look over at my bed to see Martha, clutching her stuffed elephant close to her chest. Her thin, chestnut brown hair pulled back in a ponytail.

I quickly wiped my face and tried to regain my composure. "No, no. I'm fine." I stood up to go sit next to her on the bed.

"Is it because of me? Did I make him angry again?" She asked, lowering her head to look at the grey sheets she sat on.

"No, of course not! Why would he be mad at you?" I asked, lowering my voice and pulling Martha onto my lap. Her small, thin figure fit perfectly across my legs. She played with the hem of her night gown, folding it back and forth. "Because I'm the reason Mommy isn't here."

I looked into Martha's light, green eyes that resembled our mom's. "Martha, don't say that kind of stuff. It's not your fault Mommy isn't here. Don't blame yourself."

I pulled her close to my chest, running my fingers through her hair. "But I'm not supposed to be alive." She said, adding a sniffle at the end.

I realized that our Mom would have died anyway. She would have been killed for having more than one child, had she gone to a hospital to deliver Martha, instead of delivering at home. That's why we kept Martha hidden, so that nobody would find her and send her to a foster family.

But maybe a foster family would have given her a better life. No matter how much I wanted to deny it, she really was the reason why our Mom was dead, and why our father was an alcoholic bastard. Ever since her death, he started drinking and taking his anger out on us. But granted, he was always an asshole, and I felt bad for our Mom for getting stuck with him as a soulmate.

"Do you ever wonder what we would be like if Mommy was here?" She asked me after she realized I wasn't going to reply to her previous statement.

The truth is, I had thought about it. I might have gotten to live a happier life with her, Martha, and maybe even Henry. I might have been able to play baseball with him in the backyard, or at least gotten to grow up like a normal kid. Maybe Mom would have done something to change my impending death date, or Martha's for that matter.

Maybe Martha would have been caught and taken away.

But I couldn't tell her any of that.

"No, I haven't thought much into it. Why? Have you?"

She shrugged. "I guess. Maybe Mommy would've liked to see me grow up like a big girl, and she'd get to meet Mr. Big Ears." She said with a smile, pointing to her elephant that she held close to her.

I smiled back. "Well, Mr. Big Ears here would have liked to meet her too." Martha giggled her cute little eight-year-old laugh and snuggled closer to me on the bed we had to share.

"John?" Martha asked. I looked down to meet her now red, glossy eyes. "Please don't leave me here alone."

It broke my heart to hear her so upset and worried like this. I knew it would be better for her to be in a foster family, but she's grown so attached to me. I couldn't just give her to some random family after what we've been through.

"But Martha, I still have to go to school, or else I'll be in even more trouble than I already am." I reminded her. She frowned, sitting up from her laying down position. A single tear rolled down her cheek. "Can't you stay home? I don't go to school."

"That's because if anyone finds out about you, you'll be taken away." I sat up and rubbed her back. She broke into a fit of tears as she threw herself into my arms. Knowing that my little sister couldn't stay home alone and feel safe broke me down inside, and I didn't notice I was crying until I sat a tear drop fell onto Martha's night gown.

"But I'd never leave you. I promise. I'll always come back home to you, no matter what."

Martha retracted from the hug and held out her pinky finger. "Pinky promise?"

I interlocked my finger with her's and sent her a reassuring smile, letting her know that everything would be alright. "Pinky promise."

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(Oof, a sad chapter. I'm sorry if I broke anyone's heart, but it had to be done. Thank you so so so much for reading, and please share this story with your friends if you feel like it, I'm not gonna force anyone into anything. Mmk? Mmk. Until next time!)

(Oh, and I have a habit of updating at 1am now??)