Scandalous (Slow Updates)

Fifteen

Song: Butterfly- BTS

"I'm still adjusting to what happened, but I'm willing to talk about it and move past our problem." Aleck said, grabbing my hand, and I forced myself to listen to him again, nodding slowly.

After I left Landon's I walked until I found a place to stay for a while. I ended up at the park a couple blocks from my house where dad used to take me every Saturday when I was little, and for a while, I felt at peace. I didn't think about what Aleck did, or my mother's words, or even Landon's confession. I just watched the kids playing, being carefree and not having to worry about the stuff they would face as they grew older. Sometimes I wished I could rewind the clock, go back to much simpler times when I didn't have to worry about if it was okay for me to return home or not, or about how two guys loved me but I could only be with one. I wouldn't have to worry about living up to everyone's expectations, or about how no matter how hard I tried, I still couldn't find the place where I fit best. The only thing I would have to worry about is how high I could swing, and maybe if I swung high enough, I could fly. I could fly far away from all the things that hurt me until I landed in a place where I finally felt happy.

But life had never worked out for me like that.

Aleck had called a little while after I found my way to the park, insisting we meet up for lunch to, as he put it, sort out our problems. Reluctantly, I left the park and made my way to Dairy Queen, where Aleck was sitting at our table beside the window, our regular meals already on the table. I sat down in front of him, and the corner of his mouth quirked up. Small talk lingered between us while we ate, and then once we were finished, Aleck sighed, sitting up straighter.

"I'm still upset over the kiss, Kara." He said, looking away from me. "But I know you love me, and I know you wouldn't intentionally hurt me, so I'm willing to forgive you to help our relationship."

Hearing his words reminded me of Landon's confession. He promised he would never hurt me. He just wanted to make me happy.

"I don't have feelings for Landon, Aleck. You know that. I don't understand why you couldn't trust me." I replied, pointedly looking at him, and he sighed again.

"It wasn't that I didn't trust you. I don't trust Landon. He might act like a good guy, but nobody really knows his true intentions. You're my girlfriend. He can't have you."

Aleck was wrong. Someone did know his true intentions. He wanted me, and he wanted to love me like nobody had ever tried to. But I left. I was the one who chose to ignore his confession and leave him there standing, his eyes wide as he tried to understand why I left the way I did.

I was tired of talking about Landon, especially to Aleck, so I forced a smile, looking him in the eyes. "It doesn't matter now. I don't think Landon will be coming around anymore. Besides, I love you. That will never change."

But for some reason, not even I believed my words.

***

After lunch, Aleck begged me to go to a party with him later that night, and I agreed, simply because I had nowhere to go. It's not like I could go home yet. My mother didn't leave for her business trip until early the next morning, so I had a couple hours to kill before I could sneak into my own house.

Changing into a pair of skinny jeans and my signature flannel, I brushed my hair out with my fingers and parted it on the side. Looking at my reflection in my phone's camera, I noticed how tired I looked. My eyes seemed to droop more than normal, and instead of my smudgy black eye shadow, the only thing seen around my eyes was dark purple circles. For the first time in years, I didn't recognize myself-- not even my bad girl facade. It was as if something had taken over me, and it had the same face, build, eye color, but it wasn't me.