My Poems

My Depression

My depression is an attractive demon,

He draws me into his embrace,

Holds me close and makes me feel like I don't need anything else.

People try to pull me out of his arms,

Back to reality, to those who care for me,

But depression holds me in his arms once again and tells me not to worry.

For a long time, no one knew,

He was my secret.

My friends had their own problems,

I told myself they just wouldn't get it.

I smiled as he tried to drag me down,

No one really said anything.

It's what I wanted.

He got angry that I suppressed him,

I think that's where I went wrong.

He started to strangle me,

His embrace no longer lied to me,

I knew what was happening once more,

But he wouldn't stop.

I felt separated from those who I cared about,

So I avoided them,

Didn't talk to them as much,

And still somehow managed to pretend I was okay.

His hold grew tighter every day.

People started to notice.

So I wore long sleeves and hugged my arms.

He hugged me tighter, he suffocated me,

And the act was dropped.

So I told someone what was happening,

But he only loosened a little.

Still gasping for breath, for freedom,

From the abuse I had created for myself.

So I told everyone.

Sure, some refused to listen.

I had expected as much,

But he loosened up a little more,

And I can breathe again.

I still feel his embrace,

Does it ever really leave though?

I'm not sure he's willing to leave yet.

There's things I still need to let go,

After all this time.

Too much faith in people,

Combined with pretending everything is fine,

Has taken it's toll.

Thanks you,

To those who listened to me,

Who support me,

Who don't invalidate my feelings.

I'm sorry I can't talk to you normally,

I'm not ready yet.

And I'm never going to be done apologizing.