Day 1. This is the first time you said those two words. And you melted my heart.
Day 2.
I ve been listening to music for almost 4 hours now , and it makes me realise that I could listen to your voice even more than that. Could you just wake up and call me?
Day 3. The image of the last time I saw you came so vividly in my mind that I almost had a break down. That weird hug that we had. Your black yoga pants. I turned right and you turned left. Hope I'll get trought the third night without you somehow.
Fuck, I miss you so bad.
Day 4
The memory of our first kiss gave me butterflies today. It was a game changer, and I knew it right there. That kiss that we both wanted so badly. But of course that I had to make the first step, and I'm still very happy that I did.
I think I'll just get these kind of flashbacks all summer.
5
You're like the sun. My day starts and ends with you.
6
I'm trying to be strong , for you and myself. Because if I'm not I just feel like falling . I'm lucky I have you here to hold me.
My God, I want to be in your arms as badly as I wanted something for Christmas when I was little. I hope I won't break any bones inside you when we'll see each other again. Because when I'll feel you in my arms , our hearts will be very very close , and I'll just lose it.
It Fucking hurts so bad. I miss you.
7
(Not trynna turn this into Friend's episode titles)
That time we stood in the hallway of the hospital after I tried for like a half an hour to get to you. That moment was just pure. I knew right then that I love you with all my heart.
And I still do. And I will.
1||8
This day is almost as bad as the one a week ago when I had to go. As I lay in my bed right now , at fuckin' 6:39 a.m. I close my eyes and imagine you putting your hand over my chest and your head on my shoulder and only this makes me not collapse a little bit inside. Thank you for lifting me up from the darkest pits of my head. For listening to me , and for the fact that I can confess to you.
Day 9
It's been a while since I tasted your lips
The same amount of time since I put my hands on your hips
I can't deny I miss quite every bit of your body , like an obsession
But fuck that, when we talk it's almost like a confession
And that's the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me
[(Besides YOU coming into my life, but I mean these are strongly related (I'm the luckiest man alive ) ]
To keep our souls connected while we're both away
You should know I think about you at least half of the day
Your arms ,my love , that's the home where I want to be.
10
I hope we're not to good to be true. Because you know if something is like that it has a big chance of not being true. On my side, I don t want us to be to good , as I want to be true to each other. I want to always be fair and honest with you. I'd never want to argue with you, but to talk about every issue that comes up between us and fix it like a team. Because we are a team, and you're the best partner, friend and lover I've ever had. You are my safe haven, no doubt.
11
It's raining here, and inside me it's a little cloudy. I am trying to be positive, and think that this summer will soon end. I do know that. But you know one can't really dictate his feelings. I just miss you, and that's the pain in my chest that I have. Only you can fill that empty space inside there. Seeing photos of you and hearing your voice makes it a little bit easier to handle. You are right saying that I'm blind when I call you gorgeous. Because that can't describe you. I see you, inside and outside, and I just WOW. You make my heart sing, and my soul dance.
I think of the future thanks to you, and I haven't really done that before. They might be premature , but they are here already and I really think we'll be together quite a while. We still have a lot to learn about each other , I won't deny that. But I daydream about us , years from now living together somewhere , anywhere. Lots of thoughts came trought my head today and I hoped I could share them with you. I get closer to God here in the nature all day . I should maybe get a job this year. We should talk more about our beliefs. I will try to man up so that when you feel low I will be able to lift you up. And I truly, deeply love you .
Day 12
It is a rainy day again
Feels like the distance it's just
Wrong , but I'll be strong
To make you feel better.
Come as you are to me,
Without hiding anything. Cause
You are loved baby.
And understood , at least that's what
I try to do. Do you
Miss me babe? Because
Your touch is what I crave, your
Body is what I dream of.
13
Hope today won't be bad luck. This has became a ritual to me, this way I keep track of time. Writing here makes me feel good, takes away the stress and concerns , I feel a little bit closer to you. I hope this story will never end , whatever would anyone say that maybe I say things too early and maybe we'll grow apart in time. Can't believe that right now, really. We've been together in good and bad times. As long as we never forget to comunicate and understand each other, We will conquer this world.
14
I am willingly putting you in front of me , you truly are my bae, Before anyone and anything else. I'm still working on some scars left from the past, that affect me against my will. Can't help thinking that we'll talk less and less, and maybe that's why I tend to be so clingy. We just work together so good. I have so many beautiful moments by your side, and I think we'll have many more. That dream fucked me up a little bit, I swear. But I try not to think of how much it's left of this summer and think of places we gotta visit , not how much work we have to do , but the cash that will help us travel. (Sun makes me optimistic)
helpmenotlosemymindpleaseIfuckinmissyou
15,the third 1
I do miss laying in the bed with you, hugging you, either spooning. Holding hands. Rubbing your back. Touching your hips , kissing your neck.THOSE LIPS THAT MAKE ME CRAZY. You soft skin ,heart-warming embrace and the way the beating of my heart skips a little when you touch me. You singing, or when we sing together. Arguing about buying stuff. I miss the little things first, babe. I want to hug for at least half an hour.
Day 16
Me, laying in my bed. You, opening the door and entering the room. You come next to me, wearing only a dress. Spontaneous combustion. Girl, you make me feel like I've been locked out of Heaven. I wanna wake up next to you.
Another day.
Should I keep track of days , or not? I just don't know. I feel like I can't breathe right now. I might have thought the hurting is gone, but it hasn't even started. I just wanna melt, lay on the ground and cry. You might be right, I make it worse myself by overthinking. But it already hurts so much. I feel a little empty, I want to hear you singing.
18
All those photos with us , as few as they were, they reminded me again of places we went together and just how I loved every second I spent with you. Last night you made me realize we could not see each other for months and still be close when we see each other again. Just like old friends. You lifted me from my hopelessness and I must thank you , and I do it from all my heart. I want to be worthy of the love you give me. Only you know if I am. Some day soon I'll get to hold you again in my arms and stare at you , cause looking at you feels like paradise. The photos of you are just a digital reminder of the heaven where I am with you.
19
This is how the story went
I met someone by accident
Who blows me away, yeah, you blow me away
And it was in the darkest of my days
When you took my sorrow
And you took my pain
And buried them away
You buried them away
I wish I could lay down beside you
When the day is done.
Wake up to your face in the morning light
And not like all I've ever known
You'll never go away, I hope
So I'll spend my whole life
Hiding my heart
With yours.
20
First thing I did this morning was look at photos of you, of us. I just sit now, talking here to you and drinking my coffee. I really enjoyed doing that with you, but now you re here only in my soul. That's ok, it's like a hard hard test that life gave us. But we'll definitely pass it. We need to hug way much more. I'm gonna hold you till you get tired of it. I'm gonna hold you when you're happy, either sad. When you're sick or tired. I'll do my best to be here for you anytime you need me.
21
Waking up next to you was truly the best way I ever started the day. Your sleepy face just has something that makes me wanna caress your face, and kiss you. Then hold you close to my chest. Chills went down my spine right now as I remembered how cozy,warm and fuzzy such a morning is. Words are just too little to describe it.
22
Sometimes I just don't want you to feel bad, so I keep things to myself. Like last night, when I got so sad , because trough the day all I was thinking is that evening will come and we'll get to talk. I miss your voice so badly... I can't even think of how you sound right now. But I do know that you can make me feel better just by talking to me, and that is one thing that just melts me and makes me forget everything. This coffee can't wake me up , I see. The feeling from last night hasn't gone away, I've barely even eaten. How am I supposed to be strong without you babe? God knows I do my best, to take care of you and me , also. I've realised these days that we have something special. Even if we're apart, you're still the only girl I want to see, kiss, touch , hold. I know you trust me, and I trust you. I respect you, I can't even think of other girls. You are right for me, the only one that I can fall in love with, over and over again, deeper and deeper. I'm proud of myself and us. If I'll ever think somehow else, grab that axe of yours and cut the evil from the roots. I sometimes think that maybe writing here is not that good. Everyone can see what I think of and how I feel about you. But I don't care, cause everyone should know how much I love you. You're mine. I'm yours. I intend to keep it that way.
23
I'd love to travel with you all around this country and then around the globe. I get this image in my head , you placing your head on my shoulder as we wait for our train in a trainstation somewhere, drinking our coffee. Holding hands as we explore new places , cuddling in an unfamiliar bed that gets familiar if you're in it. Going hiking on unknown paths or running into the sea. We'll be exhausted, I realize that , but we'll just grow together more and more. Our love it's like a tree. It grows bigger and bigger as you care for it. This tree can't be pulled from the ground, because it's roots have grown pretty deep and strong. It can only be cut down, but that would hurt really bad, because we are the ones that embraced each other and then grew together. We became one, we became love. I miss your arms so , so bad.
24
Please take care of yourself. Just the thought of you suffering again breaks me. I would be a dead man walking if you were to go again to what you've been trought, or going to the hospital again. There's this image that just popped in my head, I might be thinking too far. That I'll come home to find you playing with the kids and undone dishes all over the place, like a huge mountain in the sink. And I'll wash them and afterwards join you and the kids. I realize it's a little bit far, but time flies and I wanna enjoy it as much as I can. I believe that your biggest fear isn't that you'll stop loving me, but the opposite. I also believe that if we build our love on a strong ground, it will last . It can be like a castle, you know. There are some castles of sand, really good looking. But the first tide washes them away. And then there are castels build from bricks, that take time to build, and really don't look that good untill they are finished. But they are strongholds, and that's what I want our relationship to be.
25
We're good for each other because we make each other wanna be better. I wanted to continue this sort of "diary" , confession, whatever it is. My thoughts of you, of us. But I can't really do it much more longer , counting the days since we've been apart. Soon I'm gonna start counting down , how much till I see you again. Untill I get to hug you. I feel my chest empty. Funny how the weather affects my feelings so much. When it's sunny I feel good, quite a bit happy. When there are clouds, I feel powerless. You are my sun. Your touch lifts up my spirit, when I see you my day just gets better.
26
Hey. I love you baby girl. Insane, but thoughtfully. Deep and rational. My brain says yes,my heart says fvck yeah. I end my day talking with you and thinking of you and wake up dreaming of you either feeling the need to hear you voice or at least text.
Your soft and calming voice brings me peace. And the ideea that you are happy by my side. It makes me feel great, because that is my main purpose. You really make me happy too.
27
Not seeing even a text from you in the morning makes me a little bit paranoid and I realize again just how much I care for you. I miss how you perfectly fit in my arms.In moments like this, when I have peace, I imagine how we'll come here in the nature with our families , have a barbeque and a good time. Am I wrong for thinking of this now? Cause I surely want to have you by my side in such a moment. And every moment, good or bad, that is to come. Hope I don't stress you too much with calls, I know that sometimes you just don't feel like talking. It's just that talking to you holds me close to you , it is my favourite thing to do. I love it as much as I need it. Because in fact I need and I love you. So much. So, so much.
Four weeks since I kissed you and hugged you. Feel like I can t take it anymore. The best songs are either before either after a relationship. The beggining or the ending. Yes, it was nice when we started to know each other. But it is better now, better by everyday that goes on even if your body is not here. Words just can't describe how much I miss you.
Let this be my love letter to you.
Yours truly.
