Good Enough (Key)

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You looked at the mirror with disappointment. Not that it was something new for you. You often found yourself staring at your reflection with great sadness and disgust. Nothing ever seemed to fit you the way you wanted, and when it did, no one noticed the difference. 

To any other person, the reflection showed a small girl with a small chest, small waist, broad hips, and full thighs. A face that wasn't extraordinary, but not very Plain Jane. Dark brown eyes, rounded nose, thick eyebrows, pouty set of lips, tired eyes, and a  few beauty marks. 

You saw something else. The way your chest couldn't fill in the upper part of dresses, or any cute blouse for that matter. The way you had a tiny bit of fat hanging over the top of your jeans, creating the God awful muffin top. The way your thighs were permanently glued together, throwing the idea of a thigh gap out the window. 

Murky, dull, brown eyes, and  the dark circles that framed them glared back at you. And if you turned your face ever so slightly, your nose was huge. 

"It was a stupid idea thinking this would look good enough," you said to the girl on the mirror. "Key deserves to take someone who compliments his looks." 

Ah, Key. The owner of your soul, your significant other, your annoying, and sometimes overbearing boyfriend. 

He was invited to a party, in honor of SHINee's eighth anniversary. It was a huge event, you knew it. Everyone knew that you were his girlfriend, and you could always feel their eyes wondering why you were. In fact, you didn't even know why. 

"Why aren't you wearing the dress I bought for you, ______?" Key's image appeared next to yours. "We need to go in about an hour." 

"It didn't fit," you half lied.

"What do you mean it didn't fit? It's your size...did you even try it on?" 

"Of course I tried it on," you snapped. "It just didn't fit like it was supposed to, okay?!" 

"_____, are you okay? Is everything okay?" he grasped your shoulders, making you face him. "Did I say something wrong?" 

No. He hadn't done anything wrong. In fact nothing was wrong, really. You didn't know why you snapped that way. You weren't so easily provoked. 

"It's just...it's just," you stuttered. "I'm tired, Key. All these fans, girl groups, they're all wondering the same thing. How in the hell did someone like you find someone like me attractive? Of all people, me! I can hear their whispers when we go out. I see the comments they leave on your Instagram pictures, I can sense them judging me, and hating me, and...and.." you couldn't help it. Your voice gave up on you, and you tried so hard to choke back tears, but failed. Strangled sobs left you, and you felt your spirit finally being broken. 

Key's instant reaction was to pull you into his arms, and hug you with all the strength in him. "Baby, I love you-" 

"WHY?" you cried into his shoulder. "I'm short, I'm fat, I'm ugly. I'm not smart, I don't have a dazzling personality. You work along all these beautiful women, all size double zero, with the perfect hourglass figures. They're talented, they're capable of making you happier than I ever could." 

"Honey, stop-" he tried. 

"No, look at me," you tore away from him to face the mirror again. "Look at this," you grabbed the fat around your hips, "fat. And this," you squeezed your thighs, "fat too. These," you groped your breasts, "could be confused with a teenage boy's chest." You tugged your nose, "too big," you pointed at your eyes, "also too big," you traced your jaw line, "wrong shape." 

Your boyfriend's expression was short of displeasure. His eyes studied everything you had pointed out in silence. 

You stood there for what seemed ages, watching him scrutinize every inch of your body. It was nerve wrecking. Maybe you shouldn't have said anything, maybe he hadn't noticed any of those things until you had spoken up about them. But truth of the matter was that the pressure had finally gotten to you. All those months had piled up, and while you had a strong wall for a while, you couldn't handle it anymore. 

"_______, look at the mirror for me, will ya?" he finally spoke up. "I want to show you something too." 

You were hesitant at first, but saw his pleading eyes, and gave in. 

"This 'fat'," he gently grabbed your hips, "signifies that your'e a healthy woman, that you'll be capable of carrying our future children," he dropped his hands to your inner thighs, "these, I love having them wrapped around me when we make love," he cupped your breasts, "these are the perfect size for my hands, not too small, not too big," he gave them a squeeze. "This nose," he bopped it, "like a bunny's," he wiped the tears from your eyes, "and these, beautiful. If I don't watch myself, I could get lost in them." 

You avoided his gaze, acknowledging his words.  

"I love you because of who you are, who I am when I'm with you, and who you inspire me to be every day. Every aspect of you is perfect to me. Your face, your frame, your personality, your skills, it all compliments what I have to offer,"  he turned you to him. "You're worth to me more than all the awards that I have, than all the money I could ever earn. I never thought I'd be able to find someone who has the patience to deal with me, who can make me realize that there's someone prettier than I am." 

His words sank into your heart. Suddenly you didn't feel quite so fat, or ugly, or stupid, or boring. You felt important. 

"I don't care what other girls say, they're only saying that because they're dying to have something as special as what you and I have. I just want you to love yourself as much as I love you," he muttered. "I want you to realize your worth, your beauty, how amazing you are, both inside and out." 

"I'm sorry, I'm just-" you said at last comprehending what he was trying to say. "I don't know how." 

"That's okay, I'll teach you to love you, like I do," he traced your jaw. "It's going to take some time though, because I love everything about you, and I'm not going to hesitate to go into detail," he grazed his lips against yours. "You're a treasure, _________. And I'm so lucky." 

_______

A/N: I hope it didn't come out extremely sappy and fabricated. I've been wanting to write something like this for a while because I'm aware that plenty of you feel that way (myself included), and I want you to know you're not alone. <3 So please, love yourself. If you don't, you can't expect someone to. 

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