ROWAN •dobrik•

Chapter Twenty

The next day was chill, expect for in my mind as the blistering thought of my party tomorrow night kept poking and penetrating my inner psyche.

"I'm surprised you were able to plan this in less than a week," I told Gabbie as we sat on the couch in the living room, munching on cereal as a random program played on the TV in front of us. Gabbie only shrugged in reply.

"I usually wouldn't have because oh my god that's so much work, but-," she paused to look over at me. "-you're you. You're special to me and I would do anything for you."

We both smiled at her before going back to eating our cereal before it was Gabbie's turn to say something.

"You're nervous about tonight are you," she leaned over to give me a reassuring pat on the shoulder. I paused mid-chew to look over at her in confusion.

"Tonight? What's tonight," I asked with a mouthful of cereal. Gabbie grimaced a little with my unmannerly action but ignored it to answer my question.

"Your party, we're wishing you happy birthday when it turns midnight," Gabbie explained, but halfway through her sentence I ended up choking on my food. I quickly got up and ran to the kitchen to spit it out, Gabbie following me.

Since when was my party tonight? I don't remember discussing that term with everyone else.

She patted my back as I spat the bits of cereal lodged in my throat down the drain, washing it out with water before turning to her. I leaned against the counter and stared up at the ceiling.

"Please tell me you're joking, Gabbie," I said quietly as I slowly shut my eyes. Even though I couldn't see her, I could feel Gabbie shaking her head. I sighed hard and stomped my foot a little on the floor. I opened my eyes and looked at her. She looked at me back with a sad smile.

"It all goes down at midnight, the unveiling of your age."

It went silent as I slowly looked at the clock above the stove. The illuminating green numbers made out 12:45 PM. I have less than half of a day to get myself ready for the pure inevitable.

"Fuck," I quietly said to myself while making my eyes look at the floor. "I need a shower, it's where I think best. Call Casey and tell him to come over."

I walked away without waiting for her reply. I went into my room, slammed the door shut, and collapsed on the ground in sheer disbelief. I gripped onto my chest, the tightening feeling growing stronger there. It felt like the room was running out of air and I couldn't breath.

I felt my phone buzz in my back pocket and I slowly pulled it out to look at it. What I saw only made my mini anxiety attack grow a little stronger.

cameraman📷
can't wait to see you tonight in your beautiful dress ❤️ happy early birthday, I hope I make it worth your while

I slammed my phone down on the carpet and is hit my eyes. My shaky breaths were so loud and obviously uneven. I tried thinking of ways to calm myself down but none of them worked.

The very possible idea that I could lose all of my friends in just a couple of hours terrified me to no end. The idea that I could lose David made my entire body numb. It made me want to crawl into a hole and never crawl out to see the sun again.

Losing David made me want to stop living.

I forgot that I had told Gabbie I was going to shower and that I had told her to call Casey over. I listened to the sound of my heavy breathing and quiet hysterical crying for who knows how long until there was a quiet knock on the door.

"Rowan? It's Casey, I'm coming in."

I heard the doorknob twist, but it wouldn't open because I was in front of it. I slowly twisted my body towards the wall beside my door so Casey could open the door, but I refused to say anything.

He pushed open the door and immediately spotted me on the ground. He collapsed next to me and scooped me up into his arms. I grabbed onto his shirt and started to loudly cry into his chest.

"Hey hey...shhh...it's gonna be okay...worse comes to worse you'll have me. You're always gonna have me, Row," Casey whispered in my ear. I slowly looked up at him, feeling another round of tears well up in my eyes.

"I know...and thank you-," I paused and smiled, squeezing his arm a little bit. "-but losing David....I could part of myself that I probably won't ever get back...I'm not trying to be rude when I say this Casey...but have you ever lost the chance or have an amazing connection with someone because you made dumb mistakes that you never got a chance to fix before?"

I know that feeling, and I've revisited it many times throughout my life. From disappointing my parents with my life choices, to boy problems throughout my old high school career, this is just a feeling I can't shake myself from. But it's never been as heart wrenching than when I lost David for the very first time.

I don't want to go down that deep hole again.

However, Casey smiled at me sadly, grabbing the back of my head and lightly pushing me back into his chest. We sat on the ground in silence for awhile as he rocked me back and forth. I had calmed down for the most part, but the tight feeling in my chest wasn't going anywhere.

Since when did I deserve a friend like Casey? Meeting him was literally a blessing in disguise. He listens to my shitty problems, makes me laugh when I'm in one of my moods, and is just all around the best friend I could ever ask for. His family treats me like I'm one of their own, and I couldn't be more grateful to have him in my life. I can't help questioning in my mind:

Why? Why would he stick around for so long?

Seriously! Through all of my petty problems and issues, and just how many times I've snapped and argued with him over the dumbest things, Casey's just there. He won't go, even though I totally wouldn't blame him and I've given him several opportunities to just go. Never look back and just leave me behind because I know it's best for him.

I had completely forgot about the question that had left unanswered, and I assumed Casey had as well. Until I heard Casey mumble something under his breath:

"I didn't know what it felt like, until I met you."

I felt his lips connect with the top of my head before it went silent again. I didn't say anything back, mostly because I didn't really know what meant.

But the night is full of surprises, now isn't it?

1195 Words

.... 👀.....

Okay anyway this chapter is kind of short but I promise I'll make these next two or three longer mostly because um....

This story is about to come to a close.

okay yeah I know you're probably screaming right now out of pure anger, or maybe not...you could just be perfectly fine about to like take a bubble bath but-

There will be a sequel! Because I came up with a good(ish) ending that will literally lead to a good sequel opener. Like this sequel is happening, like I swear.

I already made the cover, it's official you guys.

Anyways, I have to work on making these next couple of chapters as perfect as I can get them in order to really hit the true end of an era with a bang.

I'll see you all in the next one 💕