ROWAN •dobrik•

Chapter Twenty One

I finally got ready at about eight. I crawled and primed myself out of Casey's arms and made a beeline to the bathroom to finally take a shower. I kind of leaned against the shower for about ten minutes, trying to picture how this night could go. One could be David and the entire group could utterly resent and shun me from their lives. The other way it could go could be I'm accepted and I'll have a boyfriend by 12:03 AM. That's about it....nothing else can really happen I guess. I sighed, slamming the back of my head against the shower wall before turning off the water angrily. I wrapped myself and my hair in a towel before stepping out of the bathroom.

As I walked down the hall, I yelled at Casey to get out of my room, watching him drag himself to the kitchen and sit next to Gabbie, who was already halfway ready. She looked over at me with a raised and very disapproving eyebrow. I held my arms up in defense.

"I'll be as quick as I can be," I yelled at her quickly before shutting the door before she could reply back. I even locked it for good measure. I sat at my small vanity in the corner of my room and began to get ready.

Because my hair sucks so much, I had to straighten and then proceed to curl it to my liking. I tried to do this in at least a half hour since my hair was naturally wavy, but I burned myself way too many times to ever do my hair that fast ever again.

I turned off and nearly threw my curling iron when I was finally done with it. I cursed at it a couple of times as I nursed some of my minor burns. I brushed through the curls quickly to make it look a little more natural. I stared at my face in the mirror for a long time, over analyzing it when I shouldn't be.

I cringed at what I saw.

Dark under eye bags from the lack of sleep I've been getting lately have taken their place on my skin. Acne has been popping up in random spots on my face from the major stress I've had and also my shitty diet. Im pretty sure a steady intake of chips and Little Debbie snack cakes aren't going to get me a summer body that everyone apparently wants. I looked down at my stomach and shrugged. Still seems fine to me. I shook my head a little bit to stop analyzing my flaws before grabbing my eyebrow pencil.

I have work to do.

—

I sighed in relief as I dropped my lip gloss in its rightful drawer before sliding it shut. I looked over at the clock and rose my eyebrow as I saw 9:30 PM illuminated that side of the room, as my entire bedroom was dark besides the light from my vanity. I sighed, knowing should hurry before Gabbie uses a battering ram to break down my door.

I got up from my chair and flipped on a lamp by my bedside. I made my way over to my closet, looking through the contents before pulling out the sleeved dress from the far left side of the closet. I smiled at it, laying it on the bed and unzipping the sleeve. My smile dropped and my heart stopped beating for a second when I saw the dress that was in here.

It wasn't the dress for my birthday..it was the one from David's birthday.

"Well fuck," I muttered to myself as I stared at it. I ran my hand over the stitching as the memory just came flooding back, in full resolution. I looked up at the ceiling to keep the tears that were beginning to cloud my vision from cascading down my freshly painted face. Once the tears were gone, I looked back down at the dress before angrily zipping the sleeve in anger. I tossed it back in my closet and madly searched for the other dress.

You can't act like this. You need to calm down before you have another breakdown

I paused, gripping onto a random shirt and breathing heavily. I stared down at the floor, beginning to assume the worst.

Something is going to go wrong...

If you keep thinking that, it might happen. Think positive, Rowan. These negative thoughts are going to ruin you.