I Killed Her. [Shirabu Kenjirou FF]

Chapter 5

When we left, it was 8:30 p.m. I sent Yuu back home then started walking back to the dorms. The road to his house was half an hour and the road back to Shiratorizawa Academy would take an hour.

Yuu's mom volunteered to send me back but I declined since I needed some time to think by myself. She understood what I meant, since I did this often back when I was younger.

I shoved my hands into my pockets while humming the song Let The Flames Begin by Paramore.

Deciding I didnt want to go back yet, I went to a park nearby the school.

I checked my phone to see what time it was. It read '10:39 p.m.'

I guess I was walking slowly? Im not sure. The school gates would be closed by 11:45 p.m. so I need to me back before then. Perfect.

I walked around, admiring the calming almost magical night atmosphere out. The light from the moon peeked out of the tall trees, crickets chirped in the background.

I stopped on a bridge next to a lake. I looked at my reflection. The moonlight shined on the lake and my face. It was so... Mesmerising, as Yuzunami would say.

It was pulchritudinous.

I started thinking for a bit.

Yuzunami was always an amazing, smart and athletic kid. She was also really nice and well mannered.

She was... Perfect.

Back then before everything started, before all thr drama.

We all -of course- lived in peace and happiness.

That was until Yuu and Yuzunami's parents divorced.

Yuzunami loved her dad, even though he had a bad drinking habit, and abusive tendancies at times.

He was an overall good person, but when he was stressed those bad habits and tendancies started showing.

It got to the point where their mom -like I said- had to divorce him.

That was when I and Yuu were in our last year of elementry school.

Even though Yuzunami was what a believed a perfect person, she had her flaws.

She would have random crying fits and was too sensitive for her own good. Which made her a target for bullying.

Still, she was an amazing person. Though a bit of a pushover.

Then, I remembered when we were in middle school, my third year to be exact.

"Sto-op please.." Yuzunami cried, but the bullies continued to hurt and mock her.

"How lame! Your such a crybaby! What are you gonna do, call for your 'Nii-chan' and 'Ken-chan'?! They cant save you this time!" one of them yelled, kicking her arm.

All I did was watch in horror, if I went out there, she'd be hurt even more.

They threatened me that if I tried to help her, they'd hurt her even more, and hurt me.

Oh how I wish I'd stepped in.

After a while Yuzunami grew distant.

She grew distant because she didnt want to get hurt.

She grew distant because she was scared.

She grew distant because of me.
I could have saved her then, but I didnt.

Dammit...

Without realising, I dropped onto my knees and started screaming. Just screaming.

I held my hands to my ears and screamed louder, not bothering if anyone would notice me.

I heard a familiar voice yell out my name but it was muffled since I was covering my ears.

I leaned down, forehead hitting the bridge floor with a thud. My eyes widen as my ears started ringing, my body feeling stiff and my heart beat growing quick.

Ah, its happening again.

I heard footseps rushing towards me.

"..i! Shira..! Wha... Ong?!" the rest was blocked off by the ringing.

Suddenly, I felt hands pulling me up and hugging me. They pulled my to their chest, I stopped screaming but breathed heavily.

"Shh... Shirabu-san..." the figure said, rubbing my back. I focused on his heart beat, calming my self but only a bit.

"....fault.." I mumbled, breathing still messed up.

The figure hummed in confusion.

"It was my fault... All of it was my fault...!" I choked out, clenching my fists that still over my ears.

I repeated that for who knows how many times before springing up from the persons figure -who I later found out was Goshiki.

"Ah, wait- Shirabu-san where are you going??" Goshiki got up from the position he was in.

"... You haven't answered us yet. Who's Yuzu-chan? What did that libero mean when he said to forgive yourself? What did you do?" This angered me. God, Goshiki why are you so goddamn annoying?

I clenched my fists then said, "Thats none of your business..."

He couldnt argue, it really wasnt his business. Before I could continue walking the 'future ace' yelled out, "Please Shirabu-san!"

"We- I cant stand seeing that stupidly sad expression on your face! Your suffering and I cant just stand here and watch you suffer all alone like this so please! Please just..."

I glared at him but when I saw the look on his face my expression softened. Though his head hung low I could still make out how he looked.

He looked like he was about to cry, he looked so confused, like a lost and scared puppy.

"... You really wanna know?"

He looked up and our eyes met, his teary and wide eyes stared into me and I gulped, clearly nervous.

He slowly nodded, and I sighed.

"Fine, I'll tell you."

~♥~

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