Metanoia

"Alive With A Fallen Kingdom"

Arthur

When we arrived to Aeyland, my first initial reaction was to gasp in surprise. All of the knights were here. Including my own.
"Merlin," I exclaimed with suppressed shock, gesturing to the group in the distance nearing to us.
He chuckled in reply. "Yeah; they all relocated here after the...war started." His lips stumbled on the word, mind tripping over the sudden conclusion that I was here with him.
Alive.
Alive with a fallen kingdom.
Wide smiles were instantly smeared on the knights face when they all took notice to me, expressions of surprise clear in their eyes. They were happy. So why wasn't I?
"Is it really you, Princess?" Gwaine said, giving a cheeky smile at the adopted nickname. I ignored it, striding over to him, clapping him along with the rest of the knights on the back.
My eyes glanced back to Merlin, who was eyeing the sight with a wistful smile. "I'll be in my chambers. I'm assured that the knights will guide you to your room, Arthur?"
Giving a grin in reply, I nodded. The entirety of the knights and I watched as Merlin gracefully walked away, curious glances often given by myself. Once Merlin was lost from sight, my head whipped to face the knights, an expression of concern plastered onto my face. "What happened?"
The knights just stood, silent to my questioning.
"Merlin doesn't remember me. Why?" The word had an underlying amount of grief and remorse. This was my fault to blame.
"He took a memory potion," Kylan blurted out, green eyes cautiously scanning me over.
My gaze hardened upon the lurid answer. "And you let him?" The tone of my voice was progressively becoming more aggressive, grunts and frustrated sighs escaping my lips.
"It was the best of the options," Kylan mumbled in reply.
"What do you mean?"
Raking a hand through his curled hair, he exhaled before answering. "He wanted to die." Kylan's eyes met mine with a sudden intensity I would've never detected before.
"Merlin had a kingdom to care for, though," Killian cut in, biting his lip anxiously. "He claimed he couldn't live on thinking that he had caused your death."
My mouth felt dry upon receiving their replies. Merlin had thought that?
"So he took a memory loss potion," I concluded. Eyes glistening with unshed liquid, I raised my head to meet the knights. "There's no cure? Some potion to reverse the effects?"
Kylan shook his head. "I spoke to the physician who made it. He said by time we would obtain a cure, the side effects would have already tempered with his mind. It would kill him."
My lids lept down, as I let a drowned sigh battle the summer air.
"You'll get him back, though," came Gwaine's voice of reassurance.
Feeling my eyes peel open, I gave him a stern, confident stare. "You're right. I'm going to win him back."

_________________

"Merlin?" I called out from behind the door, trying to see through the slit. My eyes caught glimpse of his figure, hunched over, messing with something incoherent to my eye.
"Enter."
Scrunching my eyebrows, I stepped into his chambers, my pupils dilating from the contrast of light. Merlin absentmindedly bit his lip—a newfound habit—before turning to face me, his eyes still trained to the papers he was toying with beforehand.
"There's some clothes in my drawers over there," Merlin said, casually pointing a finger to his dresser across the room. Trudging over to it, I analyzed the wood with delicate motions. Expensive.
"How does it feel living royal life, Merlin?" I was expecting a vague, sarcastic answer. He lost his memory, afterall. But what I didn't expect was the truth to blurt from his mouth. My eyes shifted to see Merlin pause, his brows drawing together, delicately settling the documents in his hand down onto the desk behind him.
"It's tiresome. People bow to your feet and you just accept that type of power."
My eyes looked at Merlin, whose fists were clenched tightly. His gaze was distant—cold, almost.
He sighed. "I wish people would shove higher power aside and work together as a democracy."
My brows raised. "And you would want to accomplish that as King? To bring equality to the land?"
Merlin's eyes met mine. There was an undetected emotion in those orbs. Something provoking.
Suddenly, breaking the tension, he awkwardly coughed, switching the subject. "Clothes," he mumbled.
Right. My hands sifted through multiple drawers, pulling out multiple shades of clothing, putting the material up to me to eye the size. "At least you have more clothing options than back in Camelot," I joked.
Merlin's head whipped. "Really?"
My lips curled upon the memory. "Yeah; you would always wear this ridiculous neckerchief—with your two shirts and same baggy pants." I sighed. "I realize all of that was just to hide your scars." My eyes glanced to Merlin's neck, where several white cuts lay—permanent dents in his skin. His head tilted down, slightly ashamed of the confession I gave, as he then turned, fumbling with something on his desk.
Heaving a breath, I faced the drawer once again, opening up several more. My eyes then suddenly glazed over when I opened one drawer.
A rich, deep, royal blue; contrasting with a bright yellow and earthy green.
Its petals never seemed to loose balance. The stem was still intact. It was strong. And still hanging on.
"Merlin..." I croaked, pulling out the beauty, sticking it out in his direction. He turned, brows furrowing when taking notice to the flower in my hand.
"Merlin," I whispered again, tears now threatening my eyes. I rubbed my thumb against one of the petals with delicate motions. "You kept it."
Merlin cracked a smile in slight surprise. "Kept? Was it something I found?"
"It was a present," I corrected softly while eyeing the plant with a newfound happiness. After a moment, an idea suddenly protruded my thoughts. "What other things did you keep?"
Merlin's eyes shifted. "Uh, not much. The only reason I kept that was because it was immortal..." His sentence faltered seeing my expression. Pure bliss.
Giving a small smile, Merlin made his way over to me, glancing to the flower, then back to me. "You seem to care for it." He paused. "I know it's a gift, but if you want it-"
"Yes, I would very much appreciate that," I suddenly cut in, keeping my eyes trained on the flower.
This plant gave me hope.
My mind tumbled. I think I'm going to depend on that word a lot from now on.

A/N: Hello everyone! So, I didn't get into the camp, (I was number one on the waiting list! Can you believe it!?) BUT, lucky for y'all—because now I get to post more frequently! If you've liked this story so far, feel free to drop a vote or comment! Thanks everybody! Bye!