Tyler and Josh were up on the wooden platform that they'd built in the tree. Through the branches they could look up at the stars in the sky.
They were both laying on their backs, Josh the other way around than Tyler. Their heads were next to each other, but the rest of their bodies weren't. They'd been staring up at the sky for a while, soft music playing in the background.
"Have you ever wished you could just... leave?" Tyler asked softly.
"Just start over? With an entirely new life with different people and future. Just... a better life?" Tyler softly spoke.
Josh turned his head to the side and looked at his best friend. "Are you okay, Ty?" He asked softly. "Yeah", Tyler simply replied, still staring up at the sky.
"Y-Yeah", Tyler softly repeated, and Josh could now see a tear rolling down Tyler's face.
"Have you ever wished you could do that?" Tyler repeated. Josh bit his lip. He wanted to say something about the fact that Tyler had to cry, but he didn't want to push anything either. So he decided to answer the question.
"Uhm... no, not really", Josh softly said. "I'm pretty happy with how my life is", he added. "My family is doing well, I got a scholarship, I have great friends, you're in my life and you're my best friend... I'm happy", he said.
"Are you sure you're okay, Ty?" Josh softly asked. "You can talk to me."
More tears rolled down Tyler's cheeks and he let out a soft sob, which was a sign that he was actually crying now. "Yes", he whispered. I'm okay". Right when he spoke those words, he cried harder.
Josh sat up and moved closer to his best friend. He pulled him up and hugged him tightly, rubbing his back. "You can always talk to me", Josh whispered. "I'm sorry", Tyler replied. "I don't wanna cry I'm so stupid", he added.
"No, you're not stupid, ty", Josh said. "Definitely not stupid for crying either. Real men cry, it takes so much courage", he told his best friend.
It made Tyler feel at least a little bit better, 'cause he - yes, he knew those stereotypes were bullshit - didn't want to come off as weak or not manly enough. But also his heart was racing 'cause Josh was hugging him tightly, and he kinda wanted Josh to never let go of him so he could stay in his arms forever. But he also kinda wanted Josh to never do anything sweet like that to him ever again so he could forget about Josh and fall out of love so they could just be best friends again.
"I've never seen you cry", Tyler softly said. "I'm not as courageous as you are", Josh replied. Tyler wanted to disagree but knew it wouldn't make it better if he would. So he just remained silent.
"Talk to me whenever you want, okay Ty? Even if you feel like you wanna talk in the middle of the night. Just call me and I'll be there", Josh said softly. "And I'll skip school with you whenever you feel bad and need to talk or just get away from school or be with a friend. I'm here for you, always", Josh assured him.
Tyler hadn't hugged Josh back, but after that, he couldn't not hug Josh. He wrapped his arms tightly around his waist.
"Just want my bestie to be happy", Josh softly told him. "I need to ask you this, though", he continued. Tyler nodded, as if he was saying to go ahead and ask what he wanted to say.
"Has it something to do with your family? Your situation at home, or your health? Or is it something or someone in school or online who's bullying you or threatening you or is it because you're insecure?" Josh softly asked. Tyler's heart stopped at that last part. ...Josh didn't know he was gay, did he?
"You've been so on edge lately", Josh softly explained. "Saying you're not good enough and you won't be great in the next game. You're literally the best player we have but you haven't been able to see that lately. Has it something to do with one of those things?" Josh asked.
Tyler was able to breathe again. Thank god. He didn't know he was gay; it was about basketball.
"No". Tyler softly replied. "It's not about my family or a bully or my health or basketball. It's just stupid, I don't even know why I'm crying in the first place", Tyler told his best friend. Well, it was kinda his health. Mental health. But not physical. So Josh didn't need to know that.
"Alright, Ty", Josh said. "Just talk to me whenever you want to. I just want you to be happy, I don't like seeing you cry. And that's purely just because I know something is bothering you; not the fact that you're crying. Only the reason why you're crying", Josh clarified. Tyler nodded. "Thank you", he softly said. "Can we listen to a song? Lay down again?" Tyler asked. Josh nodded and he let go of Tyler. They lay down next to each other, both the same way now, and Josh rested his hand on Tyler's arm, giving him a light squeeze as if he was saying "you're gonna be okay".
Tyler hoped he was right.
Excuse me for a while
While I'm wide-eyed
And I'm so damn caught in the middle
I've excused you for a while
While I'm wide-eyed
And I'm so down caught in the middle
And a lion, a lion roars would you not listen?
If a child, a child cries would you not forgive them?
Yeah, and man seem so strong
Yeah, man speak so long
Man never been so wrong
Yeah, and man seem so strong
Yeah, and man speak so long
Man never been so wrong
Excuse me for a while,
Turn a blind eye
With a stare caught right in the middle
Have you wondered for a while
I have a feeling deep down
You're caught in the middle?
If a lion, a lion roars would you not listen?
If a child, a child cries would you not forgive them?
Yeah, and man seem so strong
Yeah, man speak so long
Man never been so wrong
Yeah, and man seem so strong
Yeah, man speak so long
Man never been so wrong
Excuse me for a while
While I'm wide-eyed
And I'm so damn caught in the middle
Have you wondered for a while
I have a feeling deep down?
You're caught in the middle
Yeah, and man seem so strong
Yeah, man speak so long
Man never been so wrong
Yeah, and man seem so strong
Yeah, man speak so long
Man never been so wrong
~~
Here it is! Chapter 3. What did you think of it? I'd love to hear your opinion!
Fun fact: I wrote about saving a bunny in the previous chapter, and I actually did that a couple of years ago when I was on my way to school and my friend and I found a wounded bunny. We were too late but rescued a bunny that day 😊
Song used:
Strong - London Grammar
Word count: 1218
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Closet Thoughts (a short Joshler story) 🏳️🌈 ✔️
FanfictionHAPPY PRIDE MONTH! I wanted to write a one-shot for pride month, but I turned it into a short story because pride month and my gay readers deserve more than just a one-shot. Tyler Joseph is a great high school kid: He's popular, is great at basketba...
