"Warning!
Use with extreme caution
Overstimulation may result in the following symptoms:
Manic euphoria
A distinct sense of invincibility
And an inability to recognize false pretenses
Several other minor symptoms include:
Confusion
Bouts of jealousy
Paranoia
Insomnia
And poor judgement
If you experience any of these symptoms, call your doctor right away as these changes can become habit and lead to permanent scarring of the heart, soul, and or mind..."
To the labels that never failed to look me in the eye and shake your heads in disapproval
Warning me not to become another statistic
Another lost cause
I'm sorry
Perhaps I should've listened to you...
But see, now it's too late
My lungs are dry and my room is foggy from smoking so many false promises
Each cloud serving as a reminder that I made a mistake in going too fast too soon
Luckily for me, I'm too far gone to notice the regret
My mind is still numb after popping countless pills of misguided affection
And my sense of discernment has been clogged up since I...... snorted my first hit of "Good Times"
No.. now my only problem is achieving that wondrous first feeling again
I'm scratching on walls until my fingers bleed
Begging on corners until someone sees
Changing my character because I aim to please
All to relive that first momentI had with
Her
When the realization that I liked Her caused everything to make sense to me
And Her presence was the only gravity I needed to keep me from floating to Cloud 9
When holding Her hand sent chills up my spine and kissing Her set me on fire
When making Her smile was, honestly, all I wanted to do with my life
I stopped praying because Her Word was the only religion I believed in
I sipped Her influence like communion at church and got drunk off Her potential and instead of taking my keys, She offered to let me drive
It
Was
Amazing
But it's not the same anymore
The high feels... Distant
Unattainable
Gone forever
She likes to show signs of coming back
The buzz of old memories creeps into my bloodstream and I'm eager to chase the high again
Hoping that this time I'll actually catch it...
But I never do
I'm running out of ideas
My contingency plan was to start wearing my heart on my sleeve so that the next time I saw Her I could hug Her and hope that maybe, She might think it meant something
But it broke before I could show Her
See, the moment She preached Her gospel to someone else
And let them get drunk on Her influence much like I did
My heart screamed like shattered glass and bled its sincerity all over my hands and arms
So forgive me if you still see a few smudges on the shirt of a substance abuser
I haven't gotten around to washing them out yet
I know it's foolish
But I'm trying very my best to delay laundry day in hopes that someday
Preferably soon,
She'll at the very least notice of the stains on my shirt and ask how they got there
