Innocence...
Is the excitement that came with going to Papa's check cashing store
Eager to catch a sneak peek into the adult world
It's the countless catchphrases I stole from my favorite uncle
And the sincere desire to learn how to laugh with my whole heart like my Dad
It's the dream of being the first football player to score a touchdown on the Moon
Or the first doctor to cure cancer by day and Alzheimer's by night
It sounds like the Christmas jingle bells that dance at midnight
Smells like a freshly cut soccer field on a Saturday afternoon
And tastes like Waffle House's famous chocolate chip waffles
Innocence...
Is the weighted sadness that came with leaving my best friend's house
And the anxious stress that came with trying to find a good hiding spot so I could stay longer
It's the sinking uneasiness that came with being called on to speak in class
And the indescribable fear that came with hearing Mom count to three
Innocence was given to me the first time God blessed this body with air
And was stolen from me the first time you showed me your True Colors
You
You are the Red anger swims in my veins and the disappointment that rattles my bones
You are the monster who stomped out my willpower and the demon who crucified my emotions
You are both the fear that holds my tongue and the sadness that floods my conscience
Your dangerous indifference is why I struggle with feeling comfortable around strangers
Your deceptive smile and White lies are why I have trust issues with genuine feelings
And I know it's "unfair" to blame a girl like you
A girl who, in theory, is supposed to be a dream come true for a guy like me
But I can't take responsibility for the Blue bruises you left on my heart
I can't be held accountable for the broken promises that cut deep and are still protruding from my flesh
Or the lost feelings I'm still praying to re-experience someday
Innocence...
Was closing my eyes and only ever seeing a future with you
It was storing your name in my lungs like it was the only type of oxygen my body could withstand
It was proudly standing up in your honor
Fighting to my death in your defense
And never growing tired of holding your hand as we walked down the hallways
It was thinking you were perfect
That you could do no wrong
It was believing we were compatible
A match made in Heaven itself
It was ever, for the slightest moment, hoping that we would ever be on the same page
