The Spiral of Acceptance

Chapter 5

A/N: Enough of Zinnia, let's move on to Arctic heh. Do y'all ship Arctia/Zinnic yet? Whelp what I am saying this isn't supposed to be romance. Anyways, John is revealed in this chapter, if you haven't already guessed who he is.

Arctic ran into the classroom, which was empty and dark by now. Slumping on the plastic chair he now sat on, he put his face into his hands, effectively stifling the sobs.

What were you thinking, Arctic? Why did you tell her? It was the feeling of confessing to a girl all over again, minus the escape of saying it was all a dare.

By now he had stopped crying, but  guilt, regret and shame shouted at him repeatedly, causing him to scream at the door.

"Shut up!" Arctic could feel John there, just lurking under the surface, wanting to feed on all his negative emotions.

Why don't you show your brokenness on the outside too?

Why don't you scar your skin like how you scar your heart?

Why don't you let me out?

Arctic knew the voice of John, just as John knew Arctic' voice. There was no one to comfort him - Arctic has driven all his friends away a long time ago.

Deep breaths. Accept who you are. John is not a better version of you, because you can only be you. Bullsh*t phrases from therapy echoed around the boy's head as he fought to push John down.

His phone vibrated and he lunged at it, desperate for a distraction, anything, anything at all to stop the pain that was consuming him inside - anything at all to stop the half of him that didn't lie.

Hey Arctic, it's me, Zinnia
I know you probably don't want to see me seeing as you ran off
But I'm here for you

Those simple words would have sounded fake sent by anyone else, but coming from Zinnia - even though he just met her - they were enough for him to squash down John's voice.

Tears came to his eyes again, and the despairing boy wondered how he could have missed the brokenness of the girl who so obviously understood his pain.

Sniffling slightly, he wiped his eyes and reminded himself not show any sign of weakness - after all, wasn't there a saying about how society exploited every fault you have? Arctic gave a rueful grin as he recalled Zinnia's surprised face when he had hugged him.

Sometimes all you need for someone to fix you is to just be themselves.