Roman Holiday (Frerard)

23- Sixteen On Øne

Gerard's POV

When we got to his house, I went straight upstairs and took a shower while he stayed downstairs talking to his parents. They were speaking in what sounded like Italian.

In the shower, I broke down in tears. He blamed me for it, I just know it. He hates my guts. And I don't blame him. I was brutally fucked by those guys. My head kept hitting the brick wall. They kept using whips and belts on me. It was super painful. I would try to hit them back, in fact I did try. But they were so much stronger than I was. And there were so many guys. Like 16 on one.

The only guy I wanted to have sex with was Frank because he made me feel loved. Not scared, not slutty, not degraded. Loved. But I couldn't take the feeling that he just didn't love me anymore. Tears poured out of me.

I started getting flashbacks from when I was five. It was traumatizing.

I was with my babysitter, an older man that lived across the street. My two year old brother was at day care and my parents were picking him up. I stayed at the older man's house who was about 40 at the time.

He offered me toys to play with. He had toys from his kids (who were at their late teens) because he was saving them for his grandkids. I didn't want anything to do with monster trucks and action figures. I just wanted to play with barbie dolls.

He knew I was gay, and he was gay too. His wife didn't know. He told me he wanted to read me Charlotte's Web and he let me sit on his lap. While he was reading it to me, he slowly started groping me on the breast and worked his way down to my penis, groping it super hard. He called me a bitch and almost raped me, but my parents pulled up the drive way and he made me go back on the floor to play with the toys.

When I was 15, I told my parents about it and they said I wanted it. So I never got the help I needed. When I turned 16, (three months ago) I said, 'hey, if I'm gonna feel like a slut, I might as well be one' so I started sleeping around which backfired because now, I have sex with strangers AND older men whether I choose to or not.

I started trembling and I passed out in the shower.