50 sad songs

3rd song

3rd song;
0:00 - 4:05 stay - pentagon
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patuloy tayong naglakad sa gilid ng mahabang kalsada. ang mga sasakyan ay paminsang dumaraan, at sinabuyan tayo ng mumunting liwanag habang ang malamig na hangin ay hindi tayo nilulubayan.

tumingala ako at nakita ang maliwanag na buwan at ang mga ilaw sa bawat posteng ating dinaraanan.

"hindi ko alam.. hindi ko kaya. tsaka ganoon naman ako, hindi ko sinasabi kung ano talaga ang nararamdaman ko."

we continued walking quietly. every store we passed by are closed. we passed by the village where we both live, it was eerie quiet. the night, devoid of people, looked dead. it was nothing but lights from the street lamps and headlights of the cars.

my night would be dead too, without you who gave life to it.

humalakhak ka. halakhak na musika sa katahimikan ng gabi at hele sa aking pandinig.

"gusto mo rin pala ako noon. kunwari ka pa na walang pakialam sa akin." nakuha mo pang manukso.

huminto tayo sa harap ng 7/11, bumili ng bote ng alak bago iyon ininom sa lamesa sa labas.

two bottles of soju. two cups of ramyeon. i drank on my bottle, letting the liquid burn through my throat down to my stomach before letting your gaze burn through me.

"tell me about it ash.." nangingiti mong hayag.

your eyes sparkled with amusement and genuine interest i could hardly resist. i drank once more, finding courage in the liquor.

"well, you have a very strong personality. you always stand out among everyone."

daniel kang and the confidence you bring. it made you appear strong and more appealing than anybody else. it's not the kind of confidence that's annoying, it's far from arrogance. you know your abilities and you trust yourself with that.

"and then your eyes. they are so small." i chuckled and your lips stretched for a grin.

"and they become smaller when you smile."

"just like that!" naituro ko ang mga mata mo nang lumawak ang iyong ngisi.

"i am not sure if you are aware but you have a lovely smile.."

you are so fierce and intimidating when you are serious but you can melt anybody else's heart with just one smile.

how i love to be the reason of that smile, but i am no longer and will never be. that fact alone made my heart ache.

"you notice that every single detail while i thought you didn’t care about me at all." you said unbelievingly.

i drank on my soju.

when you left, the alcohol kept me company. now, it feels good to have both by my side. the alcohol and the reason behind my drunk nights.

"ang bilis mong uminom." dumako ang iyong tingin sa bote na mabilis kong nakalahati.

"baka malasing ka niyan."

"nope. hindi naman ako mabilis malasing."

"didn't know you're alcoholic."

sometimes, i don't even know why i ever relied on soju whenever i'm miserable. there's no difference anyway. i miss you when i'm drunk, i miss you more when i'm sober.

the bottle of soju was emptied. i wiped my alcohol-stained lips and then looked at you.

"there were a lot of things you didn't know."