Hunter (Supernatural Fanfic)

Aria's Journal- Entry 9

Dear Mom and Dad,

I have the First Blade. I finally have it. When I'm holding it, I'm near indestructible. As I'm sitting here writing this, the Blade is in my hand. I can hear every drop of rain outside, colliding against the ground. I can hear the trees rustling, branches knocking against each other in the violent wind. Every long breath that Sam taking in sleeping on the other side of the room. I see every shadow that flickers by my window; each one makes me jump. My reflexes are insane. My fighting skills are inhuman. The Mark won't quiet down. The only reason I'm able to see right now is because of the Mark, like my own personal candle. It hurts sometimes, when I try to make it simmer down. Like it's protesting against me. Like it has a mind of its own.

Abbadon is meeting me tomorrow. I don't know how I feel about that. The Mark makes it hard to decipher what emotions actually belong to me. Castiel got me to kill a vampire yesterday. Him and Dean caught it, then called me in to finish the job. It's a bit sadistic. I hate it. I'd rather catch the creature myself, not have to be fed like some sick dog. I want to be able to fight with the Blade. To stop evil on my own. 

The vampire I killed knew who I was. Apparently I'm quite famous. After my Purgatory stunt, and my deal Abbadon, I'm as popular as the Winchesters. I'm not sure if that's a good thing, though.

I wish I knew what Abbadon was planning. Sam and I have been doing some thinking. All I can piece together was that she wanted e on a specific day. If Abbadon still wanted only revenge, she wouldn't have given Phoenix and them back. She would have just lured me out then killed all of us. I don't see the point in making us wait. I'm thinking that she may want to use me as a weapon.

Abbadon knows I have the First Blade. I think she knows that I can kill her, and that I'm related to Cain. I'm not sure if she suspects that Crowley and I are working together, though. 

I'm tired, but I don't want to go to sleep. I've always had nightmares, as you surely know, but they've never been this awful. Every night, it's the same thing. Hell. I remember the torture, the awful thing they made me see. The things they made me do. I'm not the only one, either. Daniel and Kristina are having the same problem. I hear them, sometimes, screaming as if they're in pain. I hear Kristina's soft voice crying, alone, and I have to shush her back to sleep. It's a continuous cycle. When I wake up, Sam is always there to reassure me that everything's okay. Daniel and Kristina sleep in the same room, so when one of them wakes up, so does the other. Nobody is getting enough sleep.

I have to go. Sam is stirring. I'll write when I get back from Abbadon.