"It would have been better if I'd not seen you that day," he said, his eyes dropping on her lips.
"Which day? Have we met before?"
"Yes," he reduced the distance, "You...were my last wish."
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Rainwas continuously pouring its magic on the earth. Grey clouds were still moving against the sky, as if they had come to reveal biggest and worst truth of my life.
It seemed true to me, as I was already trailing behind Mr. Nathan to his house. Fear was tickling my bones, as I had lied to my father. Telling him that I want to have long sleep, I had closed the door of my room. Once again I was out of my house and that too with a stranger – but I didn’t know why my feet were automatically moving with him. It seemed like...I would decipher mama’s unspoken words.
Mr. Nathan knew something about my mother – it was strange.
“Have you met my mother before?” I asked Mr. Nathan, adjusting my hold on an umbrella. His broad back was facing me and with my question it stiffened.
“Not personally,” he told, continuing his rapid walk. He took a pause for a second and then said : “Sorry for the loss.”
I didn’t say anything, rather I didn’t want to. Many people had said that sentence to me, which would everyday remind me the horrible death of my mother. I had enough of it.
As Mr. Nathan didn’t get any response from me, he apologised for his wife’s odd behaviour.
“When did you come back?” I questioned after his apology. It was a perfect time to tell him that I’d seen his son and he’s not dead. “Rick had told me that Miss Maria has left this place, and she has divorced you.”
“Rick told you that?” Mr. Nathan’s sudden turn and wide eyes scared me. That made me put my strong point. It finally gave me an opportunity to prove my sanity. Walking little forward, I said: “Rich has told me everything. He also told me about his accident and his condition in coma, but he didn’t tell me_”
“He is dead.”
“But, I saw him_”
“His death made his mother go crazy. She is currently on medication. Do youunderstand now? I bought Maria here last night, because she was missing her so much that she couldn’t sleep. She is struggling with the loss. Just think about it. Don’t take it for granted.”
My heart and mind were not synchronising with each other. My heart was constantly fighting against my mind to prove that Rick was alive, but mind was getting strong proofs that Rick wasn’t alive.
Then who was he?
I jumped as Mr. Nathan placed his hand on my shoulder. His deep eyes pierced in mine as though reading thoughts in my mind.
“I believe you, kid,” he said with a curt nod, and finally I found myself breathing in relief. “But now, you have to believe me too.”
It seemed right to me. Getting comfortable with a situation’s demand was the only thing we could do that time; arguments would have solved the problem – I understood it. After all, Rick was Mr. Nathan’s son. Any father would not say any negative things about his own son.
Then, I followed Mr. Nathan to his home. Fear of Mrs. Maria was making me uncomfortable, though presence of Mr. Nathan loosened my nerves a bit.
The house was obviously big and beautiful, but unfortunately it was holding emptiness and grief, grief of loosing someone. Spiders had already taken control of the house, which was causing the house to look little fiery. Gentle candle light was giving the regressive look the hall, though the evil of darkness was huge than it.
When Mr. Nathan told me that Mrs. Maria was sleeping in her room, I once again had a sigh of relief. But when he took out on small journal from a wooden table and placed it on my hand, I got tense.
Title of the journal was written in beautiful cursive handwriting. The cover – made up of a unique material which I’d bought specially for my mother – spread a waves nonchalance all over my body.
Giftedbymyangel – Abigail.
Immediately I felt mother’s emptiness in my heart. Her kind smile and touch plagued my mind so sudden that I started crying – the same I cried on her last day.
“I found this journal behind your house,” Mr. Nathan said. “Sorry to tell you but_ your father had thrown it out to burn.”
“What?” My eyes widened with a heartbreaking information. How could it be possible? Why my father would do such thing, when he knew how desperately I was searching for the journal.
When mom had told me that she wanted to store her feelings somewhere, I had given her the idea of creating journal for herself; and she did. She had informed me about it when I was going to school.
So, as I knew that she was writing her feelings in the journal, I wanted to to read it on the day of her death. It would have helped me to find out the reason of her commuting suicide
“It was on the verge of burning, when I removed it.”
Then Mr. Nathan told me how he brought the journal to his home. Since many days he was doubtful about my parents’ odd behaviour, hence, when he found my father stealthily throwing something out, he rushed to grab it.
When Mr. Nathan read the name on first page of the journal, he recognised that it belonged to my mother. So, with hesitance he had turned the pages and had found one sentence on the very last page.
