Poems With Reason

~Insecurity's~

I don't know what's wrong with me,

Why I can't just be confident in myself,

Like all the other beautiful girls,

Who have no trouble believing in themselves.

I can't help but look down when I meet someone's eye's,

Or get uncomfortable around crowds of popular people,

Knowing I don't belong around them sorts of girls and guys.

I can't help that when I look in the mirror,

I only see what I want to see.

Dirty pores that need to be cleared,

Hair hanging down my back in a frizzy frenzy.

Big nose, freckles and acne,

Long, giraffe neck and face,

That's all I can see,

When I look through a mirror at what stands in my place.

I never want to look at the scales,

Never wanting to know how much I weigh.

I never like seeing photos of myself taken by other people,

Knowing that when I see them,

 I'll just judge my appearance in every possible way.

I never liked my stomach or my thighs,

Always self-conscious about my oversized ass.

Not eating for a while, even delicious fries.

I never like the sound of my voice when on tape,

Embarrassed about sounding like a freak.

Never letting my tears escape,

Afraid of looking weak.

I can't help having anxiety,

Knowing you could have any girl,

Pretty, confident and basically royalty.

But you stick with this face that could make people hurl.

You have the prettiest of girls hanging off you every word,

The most popular girls drawling as you walk by,

The nicest girls chasing your heels,

Like adorable loyal puppies.

So what I'm trying to say is, 

I just can't understand why you would waste your time being with someone like me, 

When your surrounded by people of higher quality in looks and social ranks,

And that I still can't believe I'm the one who gets to call you mine.

I don't deserve you.

I believe I'm not good enough for you.

Not pretty enough.

Not popular enough.

Not nice enough.

Hell, not even smart enough.

Yet, you don't seem to see any of this,

But I still can't help but feel constantly insecure.

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~Chels.