A young lady speaks up about her story of when she was threatened with an unexpected near death experience, that makes her view of life change for the better.
Based on a true story
(Short story)
Hope. A feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen.
Friday 8th September
It's the morning of my surgery and I finally had a lay-in till around 9:00am, until my doctor turns up. "Good morning Miss, how you feeling today?", trying to stretch and get into a comfortable position. Urm...how should I be feeling just hours before going down for a major operation? Happy? Because I'm not but extremely frightened and the idea of not knowing scares me, a lot.
On the morning of surgery, you are not allowed to eat or have any liquids to ensure you do not urinate or choke for instance, when under anaesthetic. People may know this as 'nil by mouth'. I cannot have my morning tea, which I'm pissed at, I have to drink a tea every morning to feel some what alive. I was however, allowed to sip some water to take my morning heart medication. My mum opens that packet which the nurse brought to me yesterday, she pulls out some long, white stockings. Now this is where the struggle begins, if only you knew how hard it is to actually put them on. They are so tight and my mum fails every time, it's hilarious. A male nurse notices how bad this is going as he's walking by, offering to take over he does it within a blink of an eye. We are astonished! Yeah, lets not throw this opportunity away for mum to learn a trick or two. They are so tight round my calves and have a purposely placed hole beneath my foot. I've never understood why, but I believe I look outrageously glamorous! After all, the world is my runway!
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The waiting game...
After getting myself worked up and emotional this morning, I have still not gone down for my operation, it's been 3 hours since. I despise waiting. Impatient. Why is it taking so long when they said I was first on the list? Maybe they had to take someone down for an emergency? Again, they haven't told me anything, no update. I feel like they are just pushing me around whenever they feel like it, poking and prodding me like a pin cushion.
Mums attempting to distract my nervousness by taking pictures using the new filters on snapchat. I must admit some of them are funny. "We are now free for your time", says the anaesthetist. Woohoo!! I guess?! Not sure what I'm feeling at this point to be honest with you. Iv been through so many emotions already, my mind and thoughts are completely all over the place. Frightened, confused, happy, depressed, anxious, all of the above are only a few of them. I mean, I'm excited because I'm finally going to feel better and hopefully not going to be in this pain anymore. Oh and I will be able to BREATHE!! A miracle haha! Also, 99.9% of me is extremely scared. I'm turning to see mum as they are wheeling me away in my bed. She's allowed to follow me down to the theatre but must stop at the doors before I enter them. Asking her a million questions that she probably would have no clue about, she will answer them in the most positive-like way, ensuring I will feel better about it.
Will it hurt? What if it hurts to breathe when I wake up? Will I wake up?
I turn back to look at her one last time, she's standing there, alone, she blows me a kiss. Watching the doors close on her, emotionless I become as I turn back round being an audience to these life-bots in blue uniform.
