INHALE/EXHALE

Chapter 7-First Steps

It's 11:30pm and I drop to sleep after crying, wishing my mum was here protecting me. She couldn't come back up once I come out of surgery this time, as it was too late and the visiting hours were finished. The next morning I notice the same physiotherapist lady I had on the other ward, she was walking towards me. I immediately sigh and think to myself please walk the other way. Nope she's definitely coming to see me, here she comes, "Come on Miss Williams it's time to start moving again", she says joyfully. I wish I felt as happy as her, instead I'm feeling weak, hungry and emotional, very emotional. Each time she's making me stand up I instantly go into a seizure. She carries on making me get up and it's forcing my body to shut down again and again. I try to tell her that its not going to happen yet as I'm still not feeling right, but she motivates me more. In the end, after like five attempts, I manage to build up some 'will power', strength and motivation in myself to walk a couple steps. I get to the other side of the room successfully, then she says to try and walk some length around the care unit I'm on. It didn't take long for me to think about the idea, so I under-take this mission.

Tuesday 12th September

I'm being taken back to my room I was in before I underwent the operation for the internal bleeding. Slow breathing, micro steps, hand rails and smiling nurses. I've decided to do some more walking and I'm half-way around the ward now. My feet are gliding, almost dragging on the floor and I'm still taking more steps. I've told my nurse to keep an eye out for when my mum enters the ward, as she called me earlier on and is due to return any minute now. She is bringing me a sandwich from the café downstairs, they are so much more tastier than the ones they serve on this floor. There's a large window at the end of this corridor, its on the opposite side to my room. So I get closer and look out to see a view consisting of cars, trees and the other blocks of the hospital. Not the view people hope for, but I mean what should you expect when looking out a hospital window? Nothing exciting like beaches and sand castles!

As I turn round to make my way back to my room, my nurse runs up to me to say that my mother has just walked in. Placing my head a little round the wall, I watch her sprint happily into my room to notice that I'm not there. I'm observing her every move, she begins to panic that I'm gone, asking the receptionist if I have been taken somewhere. So this is when I start to walk towards her. She turns around and is smiling from ear to ear, jumping up and down with excitement, she knows how hard it has been for me to accomplish this. I give her the longest, tightest cuddle, acting as if I haven't seen her this whole time I have been in hospital.

Mum is so thrilled that she is eager for me to walk around again, but this time with her so she can record it to show my family at home. As were walking around, mums recording and she keeps zooming into my face then back down to my feet. I'm laughing so much and I have to keep squeezing the pillow I'm carrying against my chest to prevent it from hurting. "At least your looking fashionable", as she's laughing at me wearing a hot pink gown, white hospital stockings and my slippers from home. "Don't laugh at me mother, I believe that I look designer right now haha". I hope I look semi-good anyway.

Luck. I'm finally feeling as god is watching over me, protecting me. We pray each night for life, guidance and positivity. I hope from now to have success within every thing that happens, even if a few bridges are burnt down, I will fight to build them.

Wednesday 13th September

My best friend arrives and surprises me with balloons, a huge teddy bear, and a very large gift bag full with sweets. As I'm pulling each gift out, I'm crying with laughter. "Giant marshmallows hahaa", I say as I'm confusingly dying with laughter, still holding my little pillow made out of tissue pads wrapped in hospital tape. "A lolly the size of my face and a bouquet of smaller lolly-pops. Is this your way of proposal", I say glancing at her with a raised eyebrow. She bursts into fits which makes me laugh even more, begging her to stop before I pop my other lung.