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Ex: oh this is going to be good

Me: what? Aren't you done yet?

Ex: not just yet it seems the plot thickens

Me: what are you talking about?

Ex: Calum's forgotten to tell you something important

Me: are you still stalking his phone?

***
(Me to Calum in different message)

Me: cal she's texting me again saying you've not told me something

Calum: wot?

Me: she's tracking your phone somehow and reading all your messages

Calum: shit

***

Ex: so what if I was? I'm allowed to!

Me: you're not!

Ex: it's what girlfriends do

Me: you broke up
Me: you're his ex

Ex: ouch
Ex: watch what you say Ellie or I'll ruin Calum's surprise

Me: whatever bye

***

Calum: Ellie I need to tell you something before she does. Sorry this is just going to be said so quickly but I clearly don't have time to wait anymore before she ruins it all and I don't want to lose you again. I know I told you I was travelling and played in a band but that's not exactly all the truth I'm actually in a band who are doing pretty well we've released three albums and have millions of followers. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was scared that it would scare you off and now I'm scared that she may have told you before I had the chance. Please let me know when I can talk to you about this properly. I'm so sorry Ellie I didn't want to keep this from you.

***

Ex: Calum plays for 5 seconds of summer Ellie
Ex: he's famous
Ex: more than your wildest dreams could comprehend.
Ex: you'll forever be in the public eye once I sell his story

Me: I know he is
Me: he told me

Ex: it's not possible

Me: you only track his texts. He told me another way.
Me: and it doesn't bother me at all. If anything I'm happy for him for achieving his dreams and goals.

Ex: that's not what you'll be saying when I get all their fans to hate you

***

Me: release it any way you can she's going to do it

Calum: ur sure?

Me: just do it
Me: I'm @elliefant5 on everything social media

***

Me: good luck with that Calum's ex
Me: cos I'm pretty sure they'll like me more than someone like you
Me: have a nice life.

***

Twitter notification

@calum5sos: Everyone go say hello to my cutie @elliefant5  she's new to twitter let's show her what love means 😉

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