my jewel ; chancheol

t h r e e ; chan

    It takes me a moment to really process what he said. I never thought I'd hear Choi Seungcheol himself ask me, "what did you do to become so cute?" That's probably why I haven't thought of an answer. I don't even think I'm very cute. Sure, I have a somewhat innocent feel to me but saying I'm cute is a bit of a stretch. I guess that's my answer.

    "I'm not cute," I tell him without making eye contact. "I'd say I have more of an innocent appeal than cute."

    He thinks about my words before saying, "Maybe that's all it is then. I don't know why but you've been acting cuter for some reason. It's probably nothing though."

    I hear my mom call us down before I can reply. She always has such bad timing. We head down to the dining room, three plates awaiting us.

    "Why're there only three?" Seungcheol asks me in a whisper. "Is your dad staying somewhere else or something?"

    I shake my head. "He's on a business trip in China. He'll be back soon." He nods in understanding and asks my mom if she needs help. He's always been considerate to others. We eat together with conversation scattered throughout, enough to make it less awkward but not too much to the point where we can't eat. When we finish Seungcheol and I head to the porch.

    "Are you going to the dorms now?" I ask. I check my watch that reads 19:23. He only has about forty minutes to get back before he'll be locked out.

    "Yeah, I should probably leave now if I wanna make it back on time. Then again, I really don't feel like moving after eating all that amazing food from your mom," he says as he pats his stomach, acting as if he gained fifty pounds. My mom is the type of mom to feed and feed her kids until they can hardly move. Poor Seungcheol just happened to be her victim tonight.

    "Can't you stay at your grandparents house? They'd really love to see you after so long so it should be fine."

    "They're on vacation in Jeju. Must be great to be retired," he sighs.

    There's an obvious solution to this, but I'm not sure if he'll be okay with it. We haven't done it in a really long time, so it may be weird for him now. I take my chances and ask, "Do you wanna spend the night here? You can stay in the guest room if you want."

    He contemplates this and says, "Sure, why not? Like old times, right?" He gives me a big smile before ruffling my hair. "I'll sleep in your room, 'kay?"

    "Sure," I respond while fixing my hair, hoping he can't tell how nervous I am. I feel my stomach bubble with anxiety. It scares me to think of sleeping with him, like us sleeping together would point out the fact that I'm gay. At the same time, the thought of him sleeping in the same room with me makes me . . . excited? Not just because it's been so long since we've done this but also because . . . well, because of the obvious, obviously. Because of my feelings.

    We rush up the steps and into my room. We both brush our teeth and wash our faces in the bathroom connected to my room. He used to tease me about having my own bathroom. He'd say that only rich people had their own private bathroom. I used to say I wasn't anywhere near rich and would try being humble, but looking back on it it's not like he was wrong.

I give him some of my larger clothes for him to wear to bed and leave him to change while I get a blanket and pillows for him. I almost open the door before remembering to knock. The last thing I want is to walk in on him changing and having it be awkward between us the rest of the night.

    "Come in!" I hear him shout from the inside. "You know this is your own room, right? You don't have to get permission to walk in," he chuckles.

    "I-I know. I just didn't want to walk in on you in case you were, like, half naked." He laughs at this and says it wouldn't matter. It would matter to me, I think to myself.

    I start to set up his 'bed' on the floor when he mutters, "Oh . . ." in a glum tone. I look up at him questioningly. "It's just . . . I guess I thought I'd get to sleep in the same bed as you. Just like we used to do, you know?"

    Shit. I wasn't expecting that. He has a slight pout on his lips that makes him look pitiful yet adorable. It's his secret weapon that he knows always works on me. His plan, of course, worked. "If you really want to then I don't see why not," I say as I fold up the blanket and set it aside along with the pillows. He perks up at that and makes his way over to my bed.

    "Wait a minute," he says as he himself under the covers. "Are we gonna spoon like we used to? 'Cause if we are I wanna be big spoon."

    "I mean," I say while trying to hide my flushed face, "if that's what you want."

    He nods and holds up the blanket for me to get in beside him. Jesus, Buddha, whoever, if you can hear me please kill me before his cuteness does. I climb into bed next to him, making sure to keep enough distance between us. I guess he wants me to invade his personal space or vise versa because he scoots up to me and hugs me from behind. We're so close that his whole front, from his chest to his stomach, are dangerously close to my backside, his hard Jewel almost touching me.

    He places his hands on my stomach, right above my own Jewel, and I almost lose it. The Jewel and the skin surrounding it is the most sensitive part of the body, especially between soulmates. If anyone touches your Jewel it feels good, but if or when your soulmate touches it . . . well, I've never felt it but those who have say it's supposed to be the better than sex. Again, I've never felt it so I can't help but feel nervous in this kind of situation.

    "C-can you, uh, move your hands?" I ask trying not to show how affected I am by his subtle touch. I really didn't expect it to be so intense. I've never had sex so I can't compare it to that, but it feels like being next to a fire place and feeling the warmth surround you, engulfing you in loving heat. It's like drinking hot chocolate on a cold day and feeling it fill the pit of your stomach, tickling your insides. It's like the best most comforting feeling in the world amplified by a million times. He makes a noise signifying his confusion so I explain, "You're really close to my Jewel . . ."

    There's a pause of silence before he realizes what I'm really saying and he immediately moves his hands from my stomach to my chest. "Sorry," he says sheepishly. "Sometimes I forget that your's isn't in the normal spot. At least it's unique, right?" He chuckles nervously and doesn't say anything after that.

    Without trying we both fall asleep, but before I let sleep take over me I feel his hands slip back down to my Jewel unconsciously. This time his hands sneak under my shirt and rest directly on top of it, his finger pads pressing down lightly. The people who said it feels like sex are definitely wrong. It's not a hot and steamy thing like they said but rather much more beautiful and sensual. It feels like a flower blooming inside of you, love flowing endlessly from it. This must be what it feels like to have a soulmate.

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this is so cheesy but i kinda really love it. like i love it so much. like.. a lot. chancheol deserves all the love in the world so if anyone thinks this is going too fast you can turn on your location. but like im also all about that constructive criticism hahhh (btw im so sorry this is so late, i completely forgot about updating!!)