Exposed||Reddie

IV. feelings

sunday, 5 January

 All weekend long Richie shut himself up in his room with headphones on. He veiled his tangible reality with the ones he created within his favourite songs from Nirvana, Queen, David Bowie and several other bands he considered as 'one of the greats'. Yes, Richie listens to a lot of music, but not like this- this is more focused. Every word is scrutinized until his brain constructs a meaning behind the melody. Music is a sort of therapy for Richie. After hours of replaying his most dear playlists he found himself lost in the world of The Beatles' P.S. I Love You and Journey's Kiss Me Softly. These songs radiated a certain ethos that Richie isn't usually greeted by with his regular music. The notes summon a small bonfire that begins to swallow his heart; in its smokey billows pictures of deep golden eyes and paint-splattered freckles appear. Richie knows exactly what it means. He can feel it. After listening to both songs at least 5 times each, Richie bolts over to his desk to jot down some lyrics that made themselves more prominent than all the others. 

"As I write this letter / Send my love to you" P.S. I Love You, The Beatles

"I get swept away like only lovers do / You've awakened something deep inside my soul / And every moment, every breath I feel it more" Kiss Me Softly, Journey 

 Then, like a vulture swooping down to bring doom upon it's unsuspecting prey, insecurity sunk its talons into Richie. Instead of obnoxious cawing, this vulture slyly coaxed him into accusing himself of being absurd with tempting chirps. He couldn't be falling for the doe eyed new boy. He didn't even know him. He wasn't even gay, theres no way Richie Tozier of all people would turn out to be queer- or is there? If he is gay why would Eddie even like him? There's nothing attractive about Richie. 

A small ding from his phone brought Richie back to reality. Frantically he threw his bed covers around in search of the source. When he finally found his phone (which was actually in his pants pocket) there was a text from an unknown number as his most recent notification that read;

"Hey Richie! Its Eddie Kaspbrak, from school." 

His heart sputtered like an ancient car's engine. Holy fuck, its like he could sense I was thinking about him. Richie thought as he began to type a response. 

"sup" was his first attempt at being casual then he backspaced after realising how actually horrible that would've been. 

"hows it goin spaghetti" Richie settled on that, deciding that it was perfectly casual with just a hint of flirtatiousness if read correctly. 

"Pretty good, just wanted to make sure I had the right number. Seems as if I do haha! How's your weekend?" 

How could someone sound so adorable over text? Richie wondered to himself.

"ask your mom ;)" there was some sort of program imbedded into Richie that made him retort to all sorts of normal conversations with these types of shallow, guttered jabs. 

"Oh my god, Richie!!! Can't you just say something normal?" Eddie wondered at this moment what exactly it was that attracted him to the Tozier boy in the first place. 

"fuck im srry wanna go get icecream or smthn" 

"Can't, my mom has me practically barricaded inside... its flu season." its too cold for icecream anyway Eddie reassured himself as he flopped backwards onto his bed with a longing sigh. If it wasn't for his mother, Eddie probably would've had so many different life experiences. Since he's been so sheltered, anxieties plague him every time he steps outside. 

"welp cya tmrw at school then eds" Richie didn't particularly like to text, it felt forced and robotic to him- there was always a dark filter over it making too ambiguous. 

"Alrighty then, goodnight I guess."

"its literally 8:45... who tf goes to bed that early"

"I do sometimes, its healthy you know. It's extremely important to make sure your body gets all the rest it needs, especially during the school year."

"whatever you say dr k" Richie shuts his phone off and goes about his night taking a shower then eating dinner at 9:27. As he laid in bed waiting to be consumed by sleep he began to mentally write a letter to Eddie. 

Once their conversation ended Eddie climbed into the shower, putting his pyjamas on after drying down. His oversized grey sweatshirt and snowflake patterned sweatpants were fresh from the dryer, wrapping Eddie in pleasantly warm fabric that smelled of fresh flowers (that scent usually drifted from him though). He burrowed himself into his bedsheets drifting away as fuzzy images of black curls and wide smiles swirled around his mind. 

-

monday, 6 January

Eddie makes an effort to remember the last thought he has before sleep claims him each night and write it down in the morning. This ritual began when his mother found out about his night terrors and made him see a therapist. For the first time in a while his closing thought was a charming one instead of a more paranoid one. In his journal under 'Sunday, 5 Jan' Eddie wrote 'Richie Tozier's captivating smile thats certainly brighter than my future... or just the sun' in his computer-like perfect handwriting. While writing this, Eddies eyes and nose crinkled from the full smile that encompassed his face. After getting dressed and gathering all his school supplies Eddie makes his way downstairs for breakfast. On the table there was a yellow sticky note from his mother alerting him that she'd left early for work and wouldn't be home until late and reminding him to take his pills. 

"Disappointed but not surprised" Eddie remarked to himself as he placed some bread in the toaster. 20 minutes later he was gleefully peddling his way to school while finishing an apple. About 2 streets away from school he saw Richie turning onto the same street.  

"Hey, Richie!!!" Eddie called. He couldn't see that far away but it looked like he had headphones on. Richie didn't turn his head back at all so when Eddie caught up to him he swerved into the curb, startled. 

"What the hell dude" Richie exclaimed "I almost fell off my bike!"

"Im so sorry Richie, I didn't mean to. Are you okay?" the small boy replied with concern layering in his voice. 

"Its fine. Im fine." Eddie didn't say anything but only offered an apologetic smile in response. It was clear that Richie had already had a rough morning; his hair was mangled, dreary bags hung under his eyes and there was a coffee stain on his white t-shirt. In one hand he gripped a piece of paper like his life depended on this very slip. Eddie was intrigued by the enigma that was Richie's piece of paper. When the football player noticed Eddie's eyes lingering on the note he shoved it into his blue denim jacket pocket and sped up his peddling. Infested with confusion Eddie maintained his pace, plus he didn't want to aggravate Richie by chasing after him. 

Eddie's prior deductions had been correct- Richie Tozier did indeed have a rough morning. First, his younger sister woke him up at 5 am because 'there was a monster outside her window' that was trying to eat her (it was just a tree in the wind), after that he didn't fall back asleep until 3 minutes before his alarm blared in his ear. He had set his alarm 30 minutes earlier than usual as he planned on writing a letter to Eddie. Evidently, the note took longer than 30 minutes to write so Richie had to haul ass to be ready in time to leave, explaining the careless coffee stain that made its incidental home on his shirt. Once both the boys arrived at West Derry High Richie found Eddie, handed him the note avoiding his brown sunset eyes and whisked off before any questions could be aired.