Exposed||Reddie

V. the note

monday, 6 January

Eddie's feet planted themselves into the ground under him like an a thousand year old oak tree's roots. Watching Richie make his swift exit after handing him the letter sent a surge of bewilderment through his body. Why was Richie Tozier handing him a letter? Why would he write  a letter in the first place? Should he open it now?  What the hell does it say that made Richie want to make himself scarce before Eddie could open it? He decided that it'd be wisest to wait until he was in the safety of his home to read the letter. So, Eddie stuffed it in a secure pocket of his backpack and continued with his day. During lunch instead of sitting with his new friends, Eddie evaded the Losers- mainly Richie. The library offered quiet and welcoming refuge to him. The letter was searing a hole in Eddie's backpack and mind. In all of his classes the only thing he could focus on was the contents of Richie's letter. Unknown colours and words were flashing about in his imagination. It was driving him mad. When the final bell of the schoolday  reverberated through the hallways, ushering all the students out, Eddie's small stature assisted him in wiggling his way to the front doors. Watching him make his way out was like watching a small glistening minnow struggling against a ripping river current. After emerging from the overflowing building, Eddie bolted to his bike. The wheels on the beat up grandma-bike could not turn fast enough for him, neither could his lungs. 20 minutes later he collapsed on his front porch in anticipation and exhaustion. 

Since Eddie Kaspbrak was 7 he's sported a fannypack. It contained the various assortment of colourful pills his mother required him to swallow in the morning, afternoon, and night, as well as his inhaler and basic first aid equipment. Eddie stuck the inhaler in his mouth to help his nervous lungs. Once he entered the safe haven that was his tidy room, Eddie opened Richie's letter.

-

Dear Eddie,

Ya know I'm not sure why the actual fuck I'm writing this letter but I am. So yea, I'll probably regret this shit later but I'm just gonna go for it now. This will probably just ruin everything too, I usually ruin everything anyway.

 Normally words just come out of my mouth like vomit after you eat something rotten or some shit but around you I have no damn clue what to say or how to act. That feeling is unusual to me... usually thats how people describe having a crush. The only real crush I've really ever had was on some chick I saw selling cheeseburgers at a festival when I was 9 and starving since I'd been in the heat all day. Safe to say that only lasted a few minutes and didn't go any where (totally banged her) ((why the fuck did I have to say that)). 

Anyway!!! Im really just putting my thoughts on paper right now so I probably should just cut to the fucken point because you're probably ready for that. So what I'm trying to say is I think I might have feelings for you. A song told me. I never realised that its possible for me, Richie Fucking Tozier , to be attracted to boys. I play on a football team full of hunky boys and I don't think I've ever been attracted to any of them. But you... Eddie Kaspbrak... I've known you for four fucking days. FOUR DAYS! How the hell could I fall for someone the first time I laid eyes on them like that. So after a weekend of sitting in my room listening to shitty romance songs I realised that I do have a heart and it's swayed towards a particular boy with eyes that are as crisp as fall leaves and a face thats just as perfect as- well I can't compare it to anything because nothing even touches that amount of perfect nearly. Thats right folks, you heard it here first and exclusively!!!! Richie Tozier is gay- or bisexual- I'm still trying to figure that out. Who fuckin knows what I am. 

Well at least I know what I am. And thats in love with a boy I just met. Sounds absolutely batshit crazy right? Cuz it is. But thats okay.... even though I just fucked everything up. Right? So yea, I like you Eddie Kaspbrak and I hope you do too. Call me or come over or something I don't care just let me know when you read this. 

Oh oh oh also listen to these songs- Kiss Me Softly by Journey and P.S. I Love You by The Beatles

- Richie 'the fuck up' Tozier

P.S; I wrote this at like fuckin midnight or something so just forget it if you think I'm insane or don't like me... just promise to not say anything about this or show this to anyone I swear to god

-

Eddie read every word twice just to make sure he clearly understood the full meaning of what Richie was saying. Was he being truthful or was it just a dumb prank? Despite the lingering anxiety of the possibility of it being a prank, Eddie's heart was twirling intricate pirouettes. 

'in love with a boy I just met' - this one line would not leave Eddie's mind. He turned it over again and again looking at it from all sorts of directions, like facades of a precious diamond. Suddenly, cloud 9 dissipated from under Eddie when he heard the hard slam of the front door. 

"I'm home my sweet Eddie!" his mother's voice shattered the rhythm his heart had been dancing too. Heavy footsteps echoed through the entrance and up the stairs into Eddie's doorway. Hastily he shoved the letter under his pillow so his mother wouldn't see it, if she did she'd surely read it, ground him then search for this Richie Tozier and kill him probably.

"Hey mommy." Eddie droned. He hated his mother for her artificially sweetened antics. She loved to pretend to love Eddie. For him, there was no other way to survive if he didn't return the action. He hated himself for being so much like her- pretending to love, worrying about everything- and for obeying her. He fucking hated it.

"How was your day sweetie? Did you take your pills?" she used her plastic high pitched voice that sounded 'caring' to mask her utter boredom and callousness. 

"It was fine and yes," shutters of aversion snatched at Eddie's spine as Ms. Kaspbrak sagged onto the empty space next to him "I took all my pills."

"Good boy, now I'm going to go to sleep. Also, I'll be out of town for the next 3 days for a work trip. Keep taking your pills." she said nothing more, kissed Eddie's cheek staining it with pink and departed from his room. A sigh escaped from Eddie- one of relief and one gasping for air like he hadn't taken a breath since he heard the front door. 

It was 5:45 now and Eddie picked up his phone to text Richie.

'Hey, I got your letter.' 

For the next 30 minutes he kept checking to see if Richie has seen it. Anxiety laughed at him when nothing changed on his phone- no reply. Eddie grew sick and tired of checking every 5 minutes so he shut his phone off to do homework. Two and a half hours later he checked again.

Read at 7:06