vent: my big sister

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She was having a little mental breakdown for some god-knows-what reason, and I'm not on the right spot to assume things, but from what she's been saying and acting, it seems like she was having like lack of trust, I think? She got overly paranoid over what people said on internet, and would constantly checking her instagram, whatsapp, and maybe tumblr (if she have that).

I remember once when I got home for a break from university, I posted something on whatsapp status about my feeling and she saw it. Her reaction was way, way, out of control.

She freaked out and start bombarding me with selfish questions, like if what I'm saying was about her, if is she really that disgusting in my eyes (lets be honest, YES), and she even blocked my way when I'm trying to ignore her. It was so fucking depressing that I begin to grow depressed. I can't do anything without being constantly reminded by my parents about her 'situation', I can't even laugh when watching funny videos on youtube, I can't even listen to motivational musics or quotes, I can't even fucking get serious around videos I'm currently making without her butting around just to make sure that I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT HER! FOR GOD SAKE!!

Let me tell you a story. When I was 13, when I start to grow depressed and cuts (no one except my friends and my counselling teacher know I cuts), she was the one who constantly mocking me. Saying that I was embarrassing, making troubles and attention whore. But I never spoke a word because I know my situation better than her. And now, she's on the same situation but she's attacking everyone, making my parents stressed and scaring my younger siblings. And all because we 'did-things-that-she-didn't-like-so-she-rebel'.


















Karma is a bitch.

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