Teenager

forty six

It's been one solid month.

Fortunately, of only improvement.

Slow improvement, but improvement was progress nonetheless.

Things got easier for Mark, with all the help and love his members give him.

Yugyeom wishes he could say the same for himself.

It's all going well, it's all okay up until when Yugyeom goes to sleep and the thoughts of what happened that day go through his head.

His days normally consist of feeding Mark and maybe cuddling with him. Sometimes, it's of him helping Mark calm himself after he's thrown up.

And he doesn't mind doing that, as said before, Yugyeom loves Mark and wants to do anything to help him recover.

But when he's away from Mark and everyone else, he has to will himself to not give into his panic attacks which, lately, don't seem to leave him alone.

And he's grateful that he's not away from them often, normally everyone is with one person at least.

Plus, lately, at least one of Yugyeom's hyungs would be with him at all times.

At first, he didn't understand why.

But then, he figured it out. If his hyung thought they were being discreet and stuff, they were wrong.

Of course he pieced together why there's someone always leeched to him, it's kind of obvious now that he looks back on it.

In this vulnerable time for everyone, no one wants Yugyeom falling into old habits. Especially when Mark just went through it. It was like opening a part of his brain and emotions which have been locked since 2015, a dark place.

And perhaps he's grateful for his overbearingly protective hyungs to get in the way, for them to always be with him so his panic attacks were kept to a minimum. Perhaps he liked how they served as a distraction. And perhaps he hated how he thought of his hyungs as only a distraction.

When the next morning rolls around, instead of waking up next to his Mark hyung, Yugyeom is very much surprised to be in Youngjae's arms. Not that he's complaining, but an explanation would be nice.

He remembers falling asleep on the couch in the living room at some time in the early hours of the morning.

"You're awake?" Youngjae asks, and without even looking, Yugyeom nods. "Alright. You remember anything from last night?"

Now, that was an odd question for Youngjae to ask, if Yugyeom was being honest. I mean, what happened last night? It's not like something significantly large happened, it's been the same routine for weeks on end.

"Yeah, why?" The younger asks casually, missing the way Youngjae frowns. Granted, Yugyeom wasn't facing him to begin with.

"No you don't," Youngjae mumbles, tapping Yugyeom's cheek and urging him to turn around. "You're a liar."

Squirming in Youngjae's hold, Yugyeom tries to free himself.

"Am not," he protests, which earns him a flick to the forehead.

"I am small, but I am not stupid," Youngjae says sternly, holding the maknae's chin between his thumb and pointer finger before keeping his head locked in his direction. "Spill."

Youngjae was giving Yugyeom a chance, a chance for the latter to explain himself without having to be pried open. He was giving Yugyeom a chance to admit everything, but it seemed as if Yugyeom wasn't going to take that chance.